Equestria Teens Season 3
by Dennis Fielder
Summary: Equestria Teens continues with Rob attempting to take over Molossia, adapted from Kickassia, followed by a battle with Lady Chrysalis. Everything she sees, SHE CONQUERS! Finally ending with a grand treasure hunt. Will Rob become power hungry? Will we all be bowing down to Lady Chrysalis? And what's the status on everyone's relationships! Find out here!
1. Molossia Part 1

**Equestria Teens**

**Season 3**

Episode 1: Molossia Part 1

(It opens with the gang talking as Kickassia plays in the background.)

Critic (statically): There is a nation called Molossia. A micronation to be precise, located just outside of Reno in Dayton, Nevada. It is a small speck of land. One-point-three acres to be exact. But through a strange loophole, it is technically considered a nation. It is run by a man named Kevin Baugh, who has declared himself the proud president of this land. He has been called one Curly short of the Three Stooges, but he does manage to keep order in his humble country...

(Everyone heads home. Cut to Rob in his room as he goes to the news report on the TV.)

Reporter: And in breaking news, Kevin Baugh, president of the micronation, Molossia, retired his position and moved to Florida with his wife and family. Thanks to its status as its own nation, it's pretty much open season on someone taking it.

(Rob's eyes widen as he goes to his phone and dials a number. Cut to Fluttershy as she answers the phone.)

Fluttershy: Um... Hello?  
Rob: It's time.

(He then calls Rainbow Dash.)

Rainbow Dash: Hey.  
Rob: It's time.

(He then calls Doug.)

Doug: Yello?  
Rob: It's time.

(Rob then calls Chris.)

Chris: Hi.  
Rob: It's time.

(Cut to Pinkie.)

Pinkie: Hi!  
Rob: It's time.  
Twilight: Hello?  
Rob: It's time.  
Rarity: Yes?  
Rob: It's time.  
John: Hello?  
Rob: It's time.  
Dennis: Yeah?  
Rob: It's time.  
Sunset: What?  
Rob: It's time.  
Trixie: Greetings from the-  
Rob: It's time.

(He's about to go to bed when his phone rings, and he answers it.)

Rob: Hello?  
Rainbow Dash: What do you mean "It's time"?  
Rob: What?  
Rainbow Dash: We just spent some time hanging out, then the minute I get home, you call me and said "It's time."  
Rob: Oh. I'm planning on taking over Molossia.  
Rainbow Dash: Didn't Doug Walker already do that?  
Rob: No, that was just a movie! ... Hold on, I got a call on the other line.

(Rob goes to the other line.)

Rob: Hello?  
Fluttershy: Um, Rob, what's it time for?  
Rob: Oh, we're going to take over Molossia.  
Fluttershy: But that's so... So... Far...  
Rob: Just meet me in Reno.  
Fluttershy: Why?  
Rob: Hold on. I got another call.

(Rob goes to the other call.)

Rob: Hello?  
Chris: It's 3:59pm.  
Rob: What?  
Chris: I thought you asked me what time it was.  
Rob: No! I'm telling you it is time!  
Chris: Oh... What do you have planned for 3:59pm?  
Rob: No I- I got another call, hold on.

(Rob goes to the other line.)

Rob: Hello?  
Sunset: I'm onboard 110%, Rob! It's high time we kicked Miss Prune out of Canterlot!  
Rob: What?! What are you talking about?  
Sunset: ... What are you talking about?  
Rob: We're invading Molossia.  
Sunset: Isn't that the place from Family Guy?  
Rob (sighing): Hold on. I'll get back to ya.

(Rob goes to another line.)

Rob: Hello?  
Doug: Yeah, I got 4:04 here, but I think Chris' phone is more accurate.  
Rob: I- Hold on a minute.

(Rob goes to another line.)

Rob: Hello?  
Fluttershy: Um, Rob. I'm still really confused. Why are we going to Reno?  
Rob: Look, it's hard to explain, just meet me in Molossia. It's in Nevada.  
Fluttershy: Um... How?  
Rob: I'll fly you and the others there.  
Fluttershy: But who's gonna take care of Angel Bunny.  
Rob: Roger can do that.  
Roger: Oh, you son of a witch!  
Rob: Shut up, Roger! Bye, Fluttershy!

(Rob hangs up.)

Rob: Hello?  
Chris: Now it's 4:06pm.  
Rob: Go to Nevada, Chris.

(Rob hangs up on Chris.)

Rob: Hey John?  
John: Yes, I'm glad you called. What's it time for?  
Rob: Just get to Nevada, I'll explain there.  
John: Oh, right then. Should I tell Doug?  
Rob: I already called him too. See ya there.

(Rob hangs up.)

Rob: Rarity?  
Rarity: Yes?  
Rob: We're taking over Molossia.  
Rarity: ... Why...?  
Rob: I'll explain later!

(Rob hangs up.)

Rob: Pinkie?  
Pinkie: Hi Rob! Don't leave a message after the beep, because this is me in person!  
Rob: Yeah, we're taking over Molossia.  
Pinkie: I thought it was Kickassia now.  
Rob: No! That was just a movie!  
Pinkie: Oh... Okay. See you there.

(Rob hangs up.)

Rob: That was relatively painless.

(Rob answers his phone again.)

Rob: Hello?  
Chris: It's 4:10 now.  
Rob: Stop telling me the time and go to Nevada!  
Chris: Oh, okay.  
Rob: You know what, I'm just putting you on speaker phone.

(Rob pushes a button.)

Rob: Can you hear me?  
Everybody: Yes.  
Rob: Alright. Look, I'm flying you all out to Nevada, so we can take over Molossia. Then we can prepare for the invasion.  
Applejack: And where are we all gonna stay?  
Rob: It's okay. I'm gonna book everybody a hotel room.

(Cut to a two bed hotel room as all sixteen of them are in it.)

Scootaloo: What a cheapskate.  
Sweetie Belle: This is exciting! I wonder why we're all here!  
Rarity: Rob's apparently come under the impression that he's the Nostalgia Critic, Sweetie Belle.

(Cut to Doug rubbing his temples.)

Doug: I can't believe he dragged us all out here.  
Twilight: I'm still confused about what the heck we're doing!

(Cut to Dennis grooving to the music as he's sitting next to John.)

John: Hey, you're Doug from an alternate universe, right?  
Dennis: Yeah.  
John: Yeah, and you went insane and became that Dr. Insano guy.  
Dennis (nervously): What? No, no. That's somebody else.  
John: Are you kidding? How many alternate Dougs are there? You're always trying to take over the world.  
Dennis: No! I don't know what you're talking about, John.  
John: Dennis, I saw you! I was there during the Captain Awesome incident, remember? You had those swirling goggles and the lab coat-  
Dennis: NO!

(Dennis grabs John by his jacket as he chuckles nervously and let's go.)

Dennis: I mean, I was before, but... That was the past.  
John: Okay, I'm moving away from you, now.  
Applebloom: So when's Rob comin'?  
Applejack: I don't rightly know, Applebloom.  
Rainbow Dash: I oughta kick that nut right in his face when he comes in.

(Rob comes in.)

Rob: Hey guys! Is everybody here?  
Applejack: I sure do hope so! We can't fit nobody else in here!  
Pinkie: Wait, where's Trixie?!

(Trixie crawls from under the bed gasping.)

Trixie: The Great and Powerful Trixie does not appreciate these accommodations!  
Rob: Okay guys, we are about to do the best thing ever in the name of magic! We are gonna take over the land of Molossia!  
Sunset: ... Why...? I mean, it's only an acre of land.  
Rob: Well I saw a news report about how it's up for grabs, and once we get it, we can turn it into a refuse for magic where we can more effectively search for more. I mean come on! Aren't any of you sick of hiding your cat-dragon from Miss Prune?  
Doug: Well...  
Rob: This is our chance to do things our own way! And not have to be told what to do by Celestia or Luna!  
Doug: But it's only an acre of land. What can we do with an acre of land?  
Rob: What can't we do with an acre of land?!  
Sweetie Belle: ... Farm pumpkins?  
Rob: People, what may start as a small acre of land will blossom into the birthplace of magic and science coming together! Our grandchildren will call Molossia the Asgard of Earth!  
Doug: Yeah. We just need Odin and some Frost Giants.  
Rob: You know there's a group of people who thought like you, Doug. They were the Nazis! They were close-minded, hate-filled people who always wanted their way! Are you a Nazi, Doug?!  
Doug: No, no! I'm not a Nazi!  
Rob: Good. Now let me tell you guys about another group of people. They were called the Founding Fathers of the United States of America! They had a crazy plan for a safe haven from oppression too. Everyone thought they were nuts. But you know what? They did pretty well, didn't they?

(Everyone nods their heads.)

Rob: Because they were dedicated! And strong! A lot of people said they were crazy. Well everyone says that we're crazy, so that gives us an advantage, doesn't it?!  
Everybody: YEAH!  
Rob: Think about it. First we claim Molossia, and then we spread it to the neighbors down the street, and then their neighbors, and so on and so forth until we have teenagers going to school on the backs of dragons!  
Doug & Twilight: WHOO!  
Fluttershy: Mm.  
Rob: And then we'll have peace! Never let anyone say you can't do it. So what are you people? Nazis... OR FOUNDING FATHERS! ... AND MOTHERS!

(Everyone cheers. Rob then goes to Fluttershy.)

Rob: By the way, as the obvious President of Molossia, I'm going to need a vice-president to be by my side, and that'd be you.  
Fluttershy: But doesn't a vice-president have to talk to a bunch of people silently judging me and wondering if I'm ready in case you're incapacitated?  
Rob: Oh come on, you'll do fine.  
Fluttershy: Mm!  
Rob: I'll take that as an acceptance. (To the gang) All right, people! What are we waiting for! Let's go claim Molossia!

(Everyone charges out. Cut to the US/Molossia border as the gang approaches, all in one horizontal line across the road.)

Sweetie Belle: Epic.  
Rob: Yup.

(They continue on until a white girl with golden eyes and a brown outfit with gold gloves comes up.)

Rob: Who's that?  
Rainbow Dash: Oh, it's my friend from camp, Gilda.  
Gilda: Hey Dash, come here for Molossia?  
Rainbow Dash: Yeah.  
Gilda: Too late. I beat all of you to it.  
Pinkie: Eh?

(Gilda pulls out a canon.)

Rob: ... RUN!

(They all run away.)

Everybody: Run away! Run away!

(Cut to the hotel room.)

Rainbow Dash (sarcastically): Well that was just great!  
Applejack: Didn't ya think someone else might be thinkin' the same as you, Rob?!  
Rob: I didn't think that far ahead.  
John: No, you just thought up to when the Earth was basically Asgard from the Thor movies.  
Rob: Exactly.  
Trixie: Well obviously with Gilda claiming Molossia, we now need a strategy to get her booted out.  
Rob: Right, and that takes dedication that I'm sure we all have!  
Sunset: I'm out.  
Twilight: Me too.

(Everyone's on their way out.)

Rob: Wait! You dare leave now when we're so close to victory?!  
Sweetie Belle: ... Yes.  
Rob: Come on guys! We just need a plan!  
Dennis: Ooh! We could cut her open and wear her organs as hairnets!  
Doug: ... Bro... Seriously... See a psychologist.  
Dennis: ... I already am.  
Doug: See a better one.  
Sunset: Oh, we could launch this stuffed donkey over the wall with explosives as a kamikaze toy.  
Twilight: NO! MR. SMARTY PANTS!  
Rob: That sounds good, but I think they'd see that coming.  
Twilight: Phew.  
Applebloom: How 'bout we ask Big Mac to charge in for us, and we come in behind?  
Applejack: Applebloom, Big Mac aint bullet proof.  
Applebloom: ... Oh yeah.  
Scootaloo: Maybe we could glide over her on scooters!  
Rob: That's your answer to everything.  
Scootaloo: Well it'd work if you let me try it!  
Rainbow Dash: Actually, gang, I've got an idea. Doug's got all that Star Wars, Star Trek, and comic book stuff, so how about we arm ourselves with that stuff?  
Rob: Nah. They'd see that coming. I know! Doug's got all that Star Wars, Star Trek, and comic book stuff! We can use that!  
Rainbow Dash: I just said that you... You... AH!  
Rob: Sunset, grab a Lightsaber! Doug, get your magic gun! Twilight, start wrapping Mr. Smarty Pants in explosives!  
Twilight (whining): No!  
Rob: Fine! Grab a Harry Potter wand, ya big baby. By heaven, we'll give Gilda a battle worth fighting, and this time... There will be no dawn... For Gilda.  
Doug: Eh?  
Rob: For Gilda's Molossia.  
Doug: Oh.  
Rob: Well come on guys! Let's suit up!

(They suit up as music plays.)

Everybody: _United we stand!  
Now and forever in truth!  
Divided we fall!  
Hand upon hand!  
Brother to sister!  
No one shall be greater than all...  
United we stand!  
Now and forever in truth!  
Divided we fall!  
Hand upon hand!  
Brother to sister!  
No one shall be greater than all...  
_Rob: _Within ten years, we'll celebrate  
All that makes a kingdom great.  
_Doug: _Liberty and justice for all...  
_Applejack: _Each of us will then divide  
Equal shares a countryside...  
_Twilight: _Promising equality for all who reside...!  
_Everyone: _United we stand!  
Now and forever in truth!  
Divided we fall!  
Hand upon hand!  
Brother to sister!  
No one shall be greater than all...  
_Doug: _Liberty!  
_Twilight: _Justice!  
_Applejack: _Trust!  
_Chris: _Freedom!  
_Sunset: _Peace!  
_Rainbow Dash: _Honor!  
_Fluttershy: _Goodness!  
_Trixie: _Strength!  
_Rarity: _Valor!  
_Rob: Mine!

(Everyone stares at Rob.)

Rob: I mean ours!

(Cut to the night before the attack as Dennis is in the room alone, starring at the sky nervously as Rob comes in.)

Dennis: Is everyone preparing for battle?  
Rob: They are, Dennis.  
Dennis: Good.  
Rob: You know, Dennis, it would really help the team out if you were to... Well... You know.  
Dennis: Summon him?  
Rob: It would just be this once, Dennis. Just this once, and you can go back to normal.  
Dennis: Normal?! There's no normal. Rob, I don't even know what normal is anymore. Every day for who knows how long, I've lived with that beast, raging inside of me!  
Rob: All you need to do is set him free, and then once you have him under control-  
Dennis: Control?! There is no control! There's only anarchy, chaos, and a world writhing in pain!  
Rob: But if you would only try!  
Dennis: Try?! There is no try! There is only the darkness of those horrible goggles!  
Rob: Give in to those goggles Dennis. For me. And the gang! And me!  
Dennis: I left the madness behind me months ago. You'll find none of it left here.  
Rob: Sometimes we all need to give into the madness.

(Dennis looks nervously over his shoulder as Rob leaves, and the music starts.)

Dennis: _It's over now.  
I finally know.  
No one will ever know.  
The sorry tale of Insano.  
And those who died.  
No one else must now know.  
They only see the tragedy.  
They can't see my intent.  
The shadow of his evil,  
Would forever kill the good I had meant._

(Dennis looks up at the sky again, it's a full moon. A symbol of both beauty and monstrosity.)

Dennis: _Am I good man?  
Am I a mad man?!  
It's such a fine line  
Between a good man and a...  
_  
(He turns to a mirror as his reflection is Insano.)

Insano: _Do you really think  
That I would ever let you go?  
Do you think  
I'd ever set you free?  
If you do, I'm sad to say,  
It simply isn't so...  
You will never get away  
From me...!  
_Dennis: _All that you are is a face in the mirror!  
I close my eyes, and you disappear!  
_Insano: _I'm what you face when you look in the mirror!  
As long as you live, I will still be here!  
_Dennis: All _that you are is the end of a nightmare!  
All that you are is a dying scream!  
I long ago ended this demon dream...!  
_Insano: _This is not a dream, my friend!  
And it will never end...!  
This one is the nightmare that goes on...!  
I am here to stay no matter what you may pretend!  
And I'll flourish long after you are gone...!  
_Dennis: _You've long since died  
And my memory now hides you!  
You had no choice but to lose control!  
_Insano: _You can't control me!  
I live deep inside you!  
Each moment you live, I devour your soul!  
_Dennis: _I don't need you to survive like you need me!  
I am now whole, and you dance with death!  
And I rejoiced when you breathed your final breath...!  
_  
(Insano laughs evilly.)

Insano: _I'll live inside you forever!  
With science itself by my side!  
I know that now and forever,  
They'll never be able to separate poor you and I...!  
_Dennis: _Can't you see it's over now!  
You've long since died!  
_Insano: _No, not I! Only you.  
_Dennis: _If I died! You'd die too!  
_Insano: _You'd die in me! I'd be you!  
_Dennis: _Insano, leave me be!  
_Insano: _Can't you see?! YOU ARE ME!  
_Dennis: _I do know-  
_Insano: _I am you! You're Insano!  
_Dennis: No I'm not!  
Insano: Yes you are!  
Dennis: Gosh darn you, Dr. Insano! Take your evil deeds and rot in hell!  
Insano: I'll see you there, Dennis!

(Dennis falls into a fiery pit as he bolts up from his bed.)

Dennis: ... Oh... I must've been more tired than I thought.

(Cut to much later as the gang's at the outskirts of Molossia fully armed as Gilda's there with her canons.)

Rob: Twilight Sparkle... Make ready the new salute for Molossia.

(Twilight comes up and holds both fists into the air in an upper diagonal from her body as everyone follows suit.)

Rob: Alright people. This is the moment you've been waiting for. Bravery will be rewarded. Destinies will be revealed. And the honor fo a new Molossia will be born! A Molossia that we shall see spread across Nevada!

(Everyone cheers.)

Rob: Rainbow Dash... Send the signal to sound the charge.  
Rainbow Dash: ... Pinkie's right there. You can just tell her yourself.  
Rob: Just do it.

(Rainbow Dash sighs as she points to Pinkie, and she plays ten instruments at once, the song, the Lord of the Rings theme.)

Rob: For all of Molossia, charge!

(Everyone charges as Gilda sends out her canons as the blasts just barely miss them. One blast knocks Sunset off her feet as Chris goes to her.)

Chris: SUNSET!

(He cradles her still conscious body.)

Chris: NO! Sunset! You were so young and red and yellow haired! Darn you, Gilda Griffon! Darn you and yours to heck!  
Sunset: Chris, I'm not dead.  
Chris: Oh man, Sunset! I can't believe your dead! You and Dennis never got to go to Disneyland together! You want me to tell you about Disneyland?  
Sunset: Chris, I feel fine.  
Chris (crying): There's cotton candy on the trees! You can just climb up and get it! And bushes made of ice cream! They've got tons of popcorn there too!  
Sunset: ... You're an idiot!

(Chris stands up holding his Thor hammer from Halloween and an oozy.)

Chris: GILDA GRIFFON!

(Chris tosses it at Gilda's central canon as it blows up and then starts firing randomly at her.)

Chris: YAAAAA! YAAAAA!

(All but one of her canons blows up too as she blinks.)

Sunset: ... Wow...  
Chris: Sunset, you're alive! Thank goodness!

(Chris hugs her as Sunset blinks.)

Gilda: You guys are dweebs!

(She fires her last canon as Applebloom kicks it back.)

Gilda: Whoa, awesome shot and- Oh no.

(Gilda's knocked back as the canon explodes from being plugged up, and the others arrive at the fence.)

Rob: FENCE!

(They try to get over, but it's too high for them to make it over.)

Rob: LADDER!

(Doug brings one over as it falls over once he sets it down.)

Rob: STEPLADDER!

(Doug brings the step ladder, and they climb over.)

Rob: Through the railroad!  
Fluttershy: Aw. One of Mr. Baugh's kids left his toy choo-choo here. We should really mail it back to them.  
Rob: Later.

(Twilight chases Gilda around the house.)

Twilight: Stupefy! Stupefy!

(The shots miss her as she tears up and pulls out Mr. Smarty Pants with bombs strapped around him.)

Twilight (crying): I'll never forget you, Mr. Smarty Pants! You were the best toy I ever had!

(Twilight flings Mr. Smarty Pants as it flies over Gilda and blows up harmlessly in the area around Molossia.)

Twilight: WHY?!

(Gilda pulls out a ninja katana.)

Rob: Let's get her!

(They charge as Gilda leaps to another place, clutching the sword.)

Rob: Huh?

(She then jumps to some of the gang as she knocks them silly with the flat of her sword and jumps away.)

Trixie: The Great and Powerful Trixie will-

(Scootaloo jumps at Gilda on her scooter, landing behind her, as she then punches Gilda in the gut, making her drop her sword and fall down to where the railroad is as she runs inside.)

Rob: ... Well... Let's follow her in.

(They charge into the house as Gilda is there waiting.)

Rob: Alright, Gilda. Hand over Molossia, and nobody gets hurt.  
Gilda: Sure. Sure, and hey, how about I stay on as advisor. huh? Help you keep Molossia awesome!  
Rob: Well sure, I don't see anything bad coming from that.

(Everyone except Sweetie Belle, Pinkie, and Chris smack their hands to their foreheads.)

Sunset: Wait, that means we won!

(Everyone cheers.)

Sunset: We're in charge of a micronation that's only an acre of land! ... Wait...  
Rob: My friends, this is indeed a great day! We have given birth to a new age of Molossia's history! And that new history will have rules, government, and a new democracy to live by!  
Doug: YEAH! DEMOCRACY!

(Doug is so excited, he accidentally blasts the ceiling with his Magic Gun.)

Doug: I'll fix it.  
Rob: Anyway, as such, I will be your president!  
Everybody: YEAH!  
Rob: Fluttershy will be your vice president!  
Fluttershy: Mm...  
Rob: And the rest we'll work out after partying!  
Pinkie: YAY! Party!

(Everyone cheers.)

Rob: And as my first act as president, I shall make a table! A round table, so that we may look everyone in the eye! ... And the vice president gets a fancy robot chair that will cater to her every whim, and I'll get a rocket chair as a throne because I've always wanted one!

(Everyone shrugs at Rob's throne idea.)

Rob: Rest well tonight everybody, for we have given birth to the greatest nation ever known! To a new Molossia!

(Everyone cheers. Cut to a week later as Pinkie's playing her ten instruments across the border as a bunch of kids and their parents are gathering around.)

Pinkie: Hi Everybody! Poetry time, suitable for anybody who comes forward. Thought up on the spot. So let's go.

(Pinkie comes down.)

Pinkie: _Rhyming for everyone.  
Gather around.  
_  
(Pinkie goes to a man dressed as a police officer.)

Pinkie: The Constable's  
Responsible.  
Now how does that sound?  
Constable: Eh.

(Pinkie sighs as she goes to a woman with a dog.)

Pinkie: _Hi Miss Lark.  
I've got one for you.  
_Miss Lark  
Likes to walk  
In the park  
With Andrew.

(Andrew barks.)

Pinkie: Hello Andrew.  
Miss Lark: That was pretty good, Pinkie.  
Pinkie: Thanks.

(Pinkie then goes to a short woman with two daughters of about seven feet.)

Pinkie: _Mrs. Corry,  
A story for you.  
_Your daughters were shorter than you,  
But they grew.

(The family chuckles. She then goes to a prim and proper woman.)

Pinkie: _And Miss Percimin,  
Smart as a sprite.  
You may never be wrong,  
But you love when you're right.  
You may never be wrong,  
But you love when you're right!  
_  
(Everyone applauds as a pair of reporters come up.)

Pinkie: Hi! How can I help you?  
Reporter: We're with the Equestrian County News, and we'd like to talk with the members of the micronation Molossia.  
Pinkie: Okay.

(They head off and arrive at Molossia with the cameraman as the two hold up their microphones.)

Reporter: Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker.  
Reporter 2: And I'm Diana Simmons.  
Pinkie: Ha!  
Tom: We're live at the recently claimed micronation of Molossia. It's been a week since it was claimed by a Mr. Robert Bugie. In that short amount of time, the new occupants have been working long and hard to establish its new government.  
Diane: Indeed. While it's not easy to rebuild a nation from the ground up, Molossia is fortunate to have thirteen hardworking teenagers with attitude and three little girls who have an inordinate amount of energy, and they've all worked hard to keep their regime stable.

(They go to Applejack at a cart full of products.)

Tom: And here's one of them now. Applejack Apple recently opened up trade in apple products and the like, making her the new Minister of trade. Tell me, Applejack, what does your job exactly entail?  
Applejack: Well we've only got enough land for a couple apple trees, but I got permission from my granny back home in Canterlot to use our family recipes ta sell stuff ta get a Molossian treasury goin'.  
Tom: That sounds great, Minister Apple. So how much money do you have right now?  
Diane: Ooh, I'll take one of the regular apples for the ride home.  
Applejack: Here ya go, Miss Simmons. That makes the treasury count eighty dollars. Business has been beginnin' ta boom since Pinkie began her daily routine of making friends with the people we share a border with.  
Pinkie: Ooh Applejack, are there still any pies left!  
Applejack: Yup.  
Pinkie: I'll take two!

(Pinkie pays and walks off with them. Cut to Chris with a soldier's cap on his head looking around.)

Diane: Of course, any country needs to defend itself, as I learned from observing Secretary of Defense, Chris McCool.  
Chris: Hi Mom!  
Diane: Yeah. Um... Mr. McCool, how do you protect your new land?  
Chris: It's true that we're a small nation, and therefore more prone to attacks, but we have a good drill sergeant who knows how to keep up the gang's morale.

(Cut to Sunset walking down a line of the gang as she turns to Trixie.)

Sunset: Stand up straight!  
Trixie: Yes ma'am!  
Sunset: Straighten your dress!  
Sweetie Belle: Yes ma'am.

(Sunset grabs Scootaloo and pulls her helmet off.)

Sunset: Comb that hair!  
Scootaloo: ... Okay...  
Sunset: Did you say something?!  
Applebloom: Oh dear lord no, I'm afraid of you!  
Diane: Looks like a solid team you've got there.  
Chris: Yeah!  
Diane: There have however been reports from US citizens at the border that you went gun crazy at the border.  
Chris: Oh yeah. I don't take losing a soldier very well.  
Sunset (VO): For the last time, you idiot! I wasn't dead!

(Cut to Twilight excitedly doing paperwork.)

Tom: But an invasion seems unlikely thanks to the head of immigrations, Twilight Sparkle.  
Twilight: Hi Dad. No Dad I'm fine. Really. I managed to find Mr. Smarty Pants, and Rarity sowed him back together. Hey! Don't film this! This a private conversation!

(The screen goes black. Cut to Diane with John.)

Diane: Every nation needs a treasurer, and Molossia's is John Brown, whose girlfriend Rarity also designed the new flag for Molossia as I understand it.  
John: That's right, madam. And for a new age for this nation, I figured we'd need someone who'd know about fashion.

(Rarity comes up with a design from the flag.)

Rarity: And that would be me, Rarity. I figured on a similar motive to Betsy Ross' work on the American flag. A little bit of red, white, and blue of course to remind us of where we came from, and then I got an idea! Instead of a star to show how united we are, little hearts in the field of blue, with a golden color! What do you think?  
Diane: Aw, it's so cute.

(Applejack comes up.)

Applejack: Hey John. I got all the profits from this mornin' for ya.  
John: Thank you very much, Applejack.  
Applejack: No problem at all.

(Cut to Tom with Scootaloo.)

Tom: And there's also the problem of preserving nature as Scootaloo has taken over as head of the Environmental Protection Agency. Tell me, what's your plan for preserving the Molossian wild life.  
Scootaloo: I get my orders from Fluttershy, and right now, we're still trying to work out how to get the Baugh railroad mailed to Florida.  
Tom: Indeed.  
Diane: But not everyone in Molossia is pleasant about the new regime. Take for example Trixie, the head of communications with other nations, also making her head of the radio stations.  
Trixie: And as such, the Great and Powerful Trixie feels that being happy to have a mere eighty dollars in the treasury after a week of existence better improve, or else we'll be unable to cope with the struggles this small acre of land may present!  
Diane: So you're upset that Molossia's only made eighty dollars this morning?  
Trixie: Oh no. we're just starting out. Trixie is just saying that we should make sure that the amount of money we make in half a day should only increase.

(Cut to Dennis in a lab coat.)

Tom: And there are others looking out for the well being of Molossia. Take Dennis Fielder for example. He's making sure that everyone stays in good shape as Molossia's surgeon general. He's also the head officer of science and technology.  
Dennis: Yeah, at first we didn't have much of a science department. In fact the first space program of this country was a stomp rocket, but I'm certain we can get things to a more legitimate level.  
Tom: Hey, weren't you that crazy scientist before?  
Dennis (nervously): I don't know what you're talking about.  
Tom: Yeah, you took down Captain Awesome and-  
Dennis: NO! ... I mean... I was before but... That was the past, you know.  
Tom: Well aside from that, there are others who keep the safety of Molossia well in hand, isn't that right, Diane?

(Cut to Diane with Doug.)

Diane: That's right, Tom. This is Doug. Head of Molossia's FBI. Tell me Doug, what are you going to do to keep this nation safe?  
Doug: Well it's all about surprise to fool our enemy like when Robert Sacchi slugged his girlfriend in the Man with Bogart's Face. As such, we are trying to find those who are best able to blend into their environment. For example, we discovered that Pinkie Pie has a natural talent for camouflage. Isn't that right, Pinkie?

(Pinkie pops up in a ninja outfit from out of nowhere.)

Pinkie: Yeah! Bye!

(Pinkie disappears.)

Diane: Uh... But do you really think stealth and surprise are really going to be enough to keep your enemies on their toes?  
Doug: Oh yes. It's all about illusion. For example, I'm over there.

(Diane turns as Doug's right there, and she looks back to find nothing.)

Diane: What the-?! You were-! How did-?! Uh... Tom... We all know what goes on outside the government building. Let's see what goes on inside.

(Diane points to the building, hitting something.)

Diane: Oh! Who'd I hit?  
Pinkie: Nobody. You just hit my pie.  
Diane: Ew...!

(Cut to inside as Tom is there with Rainbow Dash.)

Tom: This is Secretary of State, Rainbow Dash. Tell me, Rainbow, what does a normal day entitle for you?  
Rainbow Dash: Well I tell Rob an idea, he shoots it down and then changes his mind, claiming it as his own. The big prick.  
Tom: Does the job pay well?  
Rainbow Dash: No, but once my idea for the day is done, I'm free to just do anything else. Like right now, I'm making Molossia's first riff track of Star Wars.  
Tom: Okay.

(Cut to Diane sitting on a couch with Fluttershy as she looks around, scared senseless.)

Diane: Of course, behind every great man is a great woman. And Rob had Vice-President Fluttershy. So Fluttershy, what's your opinion on the president.  
Fluttershy: Um... Uh... Can we please turn those cameras off?  
Diane: Then it wouldn't be an interview.  
Fluttershy: I-interview? You mean everyone back home's gonna see me?  
Diane: Oh don't worry dear. It's just a bunch of your pears that are still in high school silently judging you.

(Fluttershy squeaks and hides under the couch.)

Diane: Oh come on out, dear. Hey, what kind of books do you like to read?  
Fluttershy: ... I wanna go home!  
Diane: ... Why do I always get the crazy ones, Tom?!  
Tom: Oh, I had to deal with Dennis! Stop whining!

(Cut to Tom with Rob.)

Tom: Speaking of which, I'm with the man who makes all this possible, Robert Bugie. President of Molossia.  
Rob: Greetings Tom!  
Tom: Greetings. So Mr. President, what are your next plans for this new glorious nation?  
Rob: Well I figured once we build up a treasury of three thousand dollars, which with Applejack's sales figures should be a month at the most, we'll offer the next door neighbors a chance to be annexed in. We've already sent them pamphlets to give them time to decide. Then we'll repeat the process.  
Tom: And what if they decide not to be annexed?  
Rob: We'll just extend the offer to our other next door neighbors. Wait, do we have other ones, Rainbow Dash?  
Rainbow Dash: I don't know. Ask Pinkie.

(Pinkie lowers herself down from nowhere.)

Pinkie: Yeah, that's where Miss Lark and Andrew live!  
Rob: Yup, so that's the plan.  
Tom: Okay, but Mr. President, what about the fact that you keep the person you took Molossia from in your office?  
Rob: Oh, she's my adviser. Her only job is to keep Molossia awesome.  
Tom: Okay. One last question, why are you dressed like M. Bison.  
Rob: So I can do this. Rainbow Dash.  
Rainbow Dash: I don't wanna! It's stupid!  
Rob: Just do it!  
Rainbow Dash: ... Urgh. Their diabolical plan is to... Take over the world.  
Rob: OF COURSE!  
Tom: Okay, there is logic in what he says.  
Rainbow Dash: Enough with the memes!  
Tom: Of course. This has been Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons for Equestria County News from Molossia.

(Pan out to reveal that they were all watching it as John's talking to Rob.)

John: I've got to say, Rob, our financial situation isn't looking good. We're only bringing in a hundred dollars a week, so we won't be able to give the neighbors the choice to be annexed for a good six months.  
Rob: Fine, we can make do with what we have in the meantime. Now be quiet. Arrow is on.  
John: ... It's a rerun-  
Rob: New law! When Arrow is on, the president is not to be bothered, even if it's a rerun!  
John: Oh geez. You know what, fine! But don't come to me when you're whining about how everyone's complaining about sleeping on grass for three months!

(John walks out agitated as Rainbow Dash comes in.)

Rainbow Dash: You know, Rob, I couldn't help but overhear that you were having trouble with our financial situation, so... Maybe we could-  
Rob: Is this Arrow related?  
Rainbow Dash: No.  
Rob: Then shut up.  
Rainbow Dash: Look, I just figured it'd be a good idea if we charged for more than just baked goods, like t-shirts, tours around Molossia. That kind of stuff.  
Rob: No, that's stupid.  
Rainbow Dash: 3... 2... 1...  
Rob: Wait! I've got it! We could make more money by charging for things like t-shirts, tours around Molossia. That kind of stuff!  
Rainbow Dash: Oh... What a great idea.  
Rob: Right. Make it so. Talk to Rarity about the t-shirts and Pinkie Pie about the tours! In the meantime... They're re-airing Smallville after Arrow.  
Rainbow Dash: Oh for the love of Pete.

(Rainbow Dash goes out as she meets with Gilda.)

Gilda: Hey Dash, why do you let him take your ideas like that?  
Rainbow Dash: Oh come on, G. We're friends. Sure he can be a SELF IMPORTANT JERK sometimes, but... Um... Well...  
Gilda: You know Dash, since you come up with all the ideas. Maybe you should be in charge around here.  
Rainbow Dash: ... Hm...

(Sweetie Belle comes up later.)

Sweetie Belle: Those plans for the Rocket Chair are in, Rob, and Rarity's got some really great designs for the t-shirts!  
Rob: Excellent! Does the chair have the little soda holders on the side?  
Sweetie Belle: Yeah.  
Rob: Cool.  
Sweetie Belle: So, once we're done with Molossia and all that, when are we heading home?  
Rob: When Kansas is annexed.  
Sweetie Belle: ... Annexed? But even with the added income that'll take months! I wanna see my mom and dad now!  
Rob: Silence!

(Rob slaps Sweetie Belle as she begins crying as Rarity gapes. Cut to the kitchen as Twilight and John are looking over financial reports done in shorthand as Rarity comes in.)

Rarity: Did you two know that-?! John, what's wrong?  
John: These darned fiances! We've only got a hundred dollars in the treasury because of Rob, and the most we can charge for the t-shirts and tours is an extra ten dollars, so we're only going to ever make a hundred and twenty dollars, and Mr. Peabrain in there won't do anything but watch the CW and Nickelodeon!  
Rarity: And he hit my little sister just for being homesick!  
Twilight: Well maybe he'll build up to an epiphany and realize that we should either give up or think of more options.  
John: Like what? Watching the Adam West Batman series?!  
Rob (VO): Oh dudes! TV Land's showing a Batman marathon!  
Twilight: ... We're screwed.  
John: Precisely! He does nothing. It's like the job of a president is to be removed from reality while everyone else does the work!  
Twilight: Yeah... That's totally not like England or America...  
Rarity: I say we kick him in the face!  
Twilight: Man, you've got blood thirsty real quickly.  
Rarity: Twilight, dear, I've been sleeping on the grass for almost a month, and I'm sick of it!  
Gilda: Well if Rob won't do anything, why don't one of you take charge?  
John: What?  
Gilda: I'm just sayin'. After all, if Rob's a president, shouldn't there've been an election first?

(The three mull this over as Doug comes up.)

Doug: Hey guys, time for defense drills... Because there's nothing else to do now thanks to that stupid marathon.

(They go outside.)

Doug: Alright ladies and gentlemen, you make great agents as well as soldiers, but today, we're gonna teach you the element of surprise.

(Doug holds a water pistol to Applebloom and sprays Rarity.)

Rarity: AH!  
Doug: Ha-ha.  
Rarity: Oh... It! Is! On!

(Rarity kicks Doug in the shin.)

Doug: Good, you're learning.  
John: What's the point of this.  
Doug: To cool us all down. I don't trust Gilda as far as I can throw her, and I can't throw her at all. She's trying to get us to work against each other for that chair, but remember, this is not about a chair. It's about accelerating the point where magic and science can come together, and we can all hang out with Brian, Roger, and Spike without having to pretend their dumb old cats and dogs.  
Chris: Yeah. Come on, so we've hit a rough patch. The nation stuff is just a cover. We all know that. I mean, it's not like-

(A receipt blows to Applebloom as Doug catches it.)

Chris: What's this?  
Doug: It's a receipt... For twenty tons of dynamite.  
Sunset: Who signed for it?  
Doug: ... Rob...

(Everyone gasps. Zoom out to reveal Gilda there as she turns around and smirks.)

Sunset: What's he doing with dynamite?  
Doug: I don't know, but it doesn't look good.  
Applebloom: We have to tell somebody about this!  
Chris: You mean like Rob?  
Everybody: NO!

To Be Continued...


	2. Molossia Part 2

**Equestria Teens**

**Season 3**

Episode 2: Molossia Part 2

(It opens as Fluttershy walks up to Rob.)

Fluttershy: Um Rob, we should really figure out a nice way to package the choo-choo up and send it to Mr. Baugh.  
Rob: Oh, we can worry about that later.  
Fluttershy: Um... That's what you said last month.  
Rob: Shut up.  
Fluttershy: Uh, okay.

(John comes up.)

John: Hey Rob.  
Rob: That's General President Rob.  
John: ... When'd you make yourself a general?  
Rob: Just now.  
John: No wonder the Fire Nation sucked in The Last Airbender.

(John groans and heads off with Sunset as they both head out. Cut to later as the gang meets up at the old hotel room in Reno.)

Doug: Well it's official. I checked with the company, and after weeks of holds and redirections, Rob definitely bought the dynamite.  
Applejack: Which means that receipt for twenty tons of TNT can't mean anythin' good.  
John: Yeah, but you think he'd use it against us? I mean, we're friends.  
Trixie: Who knows? He may be planning to blow us all up.  
John: Look, I know Rob can get a little carried away, but he's not nuts. It's like Doug said when this thing showed up. The nation thing's just a front.  
Doug: But who knows what Gilda's been telling Rob since she's been trying to turn all of us against him.  
John: Okay you have a point, but couldn't Gilda have just replicated the signature to follow up on that idea.  
Doug: ... You know, I didn't think of that.  
Pinkie: Hooray! Rob may not be nuts! He's just mean!  
John: Look, I'll talk to Rob about this and see what he's thinking.  
Trixie: What if he suspects us of conspiring against him?  
John: He won't suspect anything that isn't true.

(Cut to Molossia.)

John: Rob old boy, we all think you're nuts.  
Rob: Oh come on! Why?  
John: Well you slapped a little girl just because she was homesick. Plus we think Gilda's got too much of your ear.  
Rob: Oh that's nonsense. If anything, Gilda's just spreading lies about me.  
Gilda: Hey Rob, I've got some radical ideas for a defense perimeter around the border that's mobile for when we're ready to annex the neighborhood.  
Rob: Sweet!  
John: The neighborhood? I just thought you were gonna do the next door neighbors.  
Rob: Well Gilda and I figured it'd go quickly if I lowered the minimum to three hundred dollars and doing things neighborhood by neighborhood.  
John: Um... Alright. Oh, by the way, there's a rumor going around that you bought twenty tons of dynamite for yourself.  
Rob: I did.  
John: ... (Laughing) Oh, jolly good joke, there, Rob. You almost had me going.  
Rob: No, it's true.  
John: What?  
Rob: Oh yeah. The whole place is wired. You see, I got to thinking John. The nation thing began as a cover, but what's the point of it being a cover if we go all out, so since I'm the one who has it, I won't let anyone take that away from me. Gilda and I talked and decided it was for the best since there's a world full of dweebs who want what I've got. So if any of them try to take away what I have, I'm not afraid to go down with the ship and take everybody with me. But that's if one of those dweebs shows up. Unless someone in this beloved nation of mine is a dweeb. What do you say, John? You're not one of those dweebs, are you?  
John (laughing nervously): No. Of course not.  
Rob: Good. I'm glad we had this talk. Take care.  
John: Right. You too.

(John runs off as Rob goes back to the TV.)

Rob: I do enjoy our little chats.

(Cut back to the hotel room.)

John: You're right. Gilda's driven him nuts! We've got to act, and we've got to act fast.  
Dennis: I say we castrate him with a fork, tie him to a cactus, and play jump rope with his entrails!  
Doug: Dude!  
Dennis: I know... I need help.  
Sweetie Belle: Maybe we could just tell Rob's mom and dad. They might be able to get him out of the house.  
Rarity: No offense dear, but I doubt even Mr. and Mrs. Bugie can get through him unless we get rid of Gilda.  
Applebloom: Let's get Big Mac and have him knock him out, and then we'll drag him away from Gilda!  
Scootaloo: He'd know what we were doing the moment Big Mac would set foot at the border.  
John: Look, I'm the one who brought it up to Rob. I'll be the one who takes him down and gets him away from that nutter.  
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. She's a lot meaner than I remember.  
John: Trust me, by the end of the week, John won't be the leader of Molossia anymore, and we can all just go home and forget this nonsense.

(Cut to Gilda as she listens in and smirks. Cut to her talking to Rob.)

Gilda: And then John was rallying the guys against you and trying to take Molossia from you and running it himself.  
Rob: Is that true?  
Gilda: Yup.  
Rob: Well I guess I have no choice. John must have a trial. Bring him to me.  
Gilda: You've got it.

(Cut to John returning to the room.)

John: Alright all, I've got a lot of things to do, so this had better be-

(John looks around as no one's there.)

John: This is generally not a good sign.

(Gilda comes out.)

Gilda: Hey John.  
John (nervously): Gilda. Lovely to see you. Do you know where my friends are?  
Gilda: No, but I do know where your trial is.  
John: ... My what?  
Gilda: Your trial.  
John: ... Bugger.

(Cut to the kitchen as John is at the dinner table with everyone around him as Rob sits opposite as Fluttershy looks nervous.)

Rob: And so it is the ruling of this court that you be found guilty for the crimes against our government!  
John: What government, man?! For goodness sake! This place only exists because of a mistake by the people who made a map who knows how long ago!  
Rob: Silence! Now all in favor? Aye! All opposed!  
Everyone: Neigh!  
Rob: Too bad! I'm in charge! Guilty! John, do you have anything to say before I sentence you?  
John: Oh, I've got something to say.  
Rob: Well make it quick. I don't want to miss SHIELD.  
John: When I helped rebuild Molossia, I had a dream of freedom and justice and honor. But now I see that it's been shadowed by the IDIOTIC PUPPET THAT SITS ACROSS FROM ME!

(Rob looks around before realizing what he said.)

John: You said the nation we used as a cover would be a democracy, and instead you made a dictatorship with absolutely nothing to do with the original intent we settled in this place!  
Rob: You're out of order!  
John: What happened to that dream of yours where our children would be riding to school on dragons because of the refuge for magical discoveries this place was supposed to be?  
Rob: Order!  
John: You think you're the only one who matters here? Wait until everyone else leaves of their own free will because of what Gilda's been doing.  
Rob: I SAID ORDER!  
John: Order?! What order?! You're out of order! Gilda's out of order! This whole system's out of order!  
Rob: I am the system!  
John: There isn't supposed to be any real system! That's my point!  
Rob: That does it! I sentence you to... To...  
Rainbow Dash: Being banished back to Canterlot.  
Rob: Being banished back to Canterlot! Yeah!  
Fluttershy: Oh... My...

(Cut to outside of the house as everyone stands out there and watches Rob talk to John.)

Rob: May your honor be stricken forever. May your name be forever associated with treachery. Now go out there, and never return.  
John: Yeah, I'm gonna catch a cab for Canterlot. If anyone needs me, just give a call.

(John waves at the gang and walks off.)

Rob: _Deception... Disgrace...  
Evil as plan as the scar on a face!  
_Rob & Gilda: _Deception... (An outrage) Disgrace... (For shame)_  
Rob: _He asked for trouble the moment he came.  
_Rob & Gilda _Deception... (An outrage) Disgrace... (For shame)  
Evil as plan as the scar on a face! (See you later, agitator!)  
Deception... (An outrage) Disgrace... (For shame)  
He asked for trouble the moment he came. (See you later, agitator!)  
_Rob: _Born in grief.  
Raised in hate.  
Helpless to defy his fate.  
Let him run. Let him live.  
But do not forget what we cannot forgive!  
And he is not one of us!  
He has never been one of us!  
He is not part of us!  
Not... Of... Us...!  
Someone once lied to us!  
Now we're not so blind!  
For I knew he would do what he's done...  
And I know that he'll never be one of...  
_Gilda (smirking): _He is not... One of us...  
Rob: Deception... Disgrace...  
Deception... Disgrace...  
Deception . . .  
_  
(John disappears into the distance as everyone covertly waves good-bye. Cut back to Rob's room as he sighs and heads in.)

Rob: Phew. What a rotten day. Maybe I should get a little shut-eye-

(He turns to see that he's in his room back in Canterlot.)

Rob: What?

(Rob looks around.)

Rob: It's my old room. But that can't be-  
Rob (VO): Roger, you mind getting me a Coke. I've got some work to do.  
Roger (VO): You've got it. Diet Coke.  
Rob (VO): I didn't say Diet.  
Roger (VO): No, but your thighs did. I can hear you walking a mile away.  
Rob: It's exactly the same, but who did this? Where's my new bed. Where are my new things.  
Derpy (VO): I thought you'd like it better this way.

(Rob turns to see Derpy there.)

Rob: Derpy?  
Derpy: Hi Rob!  
Rob: What are you doing here? I've barely said two words to you.  
Derpy: I know, but the friend of my friend is my friend, so I'm here to remind you of who you are for your friends.  
Rob: ... Try saying that five times fast.  
Derpy: Yeah. Anyway, I'm here to bring you a warning.  
Rob: What warning.

(Derpy comes up.)

Derpy: Stop listening to Gilda. It's totally gonna backfire. Also, just let Molossia go, and return Mr. Baugh's choo-choo!  
Rob: Darn it, Derpy, I don't have time for this! ... And it's my choo-choo now!  
Derpy: Why'd you kick John out?  
Rob: It had to be done!  
Derpy: He just wanted to do what I'm doing right now.  
Rob: Derpy, sacrifices have to be made!  
Derpy: At what cost? Are you willing to throw away the friendships you've had since you moved to Canterlot?  
Rob: A president has no friends.  
Derpy: You're being silly Rob. Of course you have friends You've gotta remember your roots. Well, not your roots, but the roots you started spreading when you met your friends.  
Rob: Darn it, Derpy, my roots are here in Molossia! And if I can't have it, no one can.

(Rob walks out in a huff.)

Derpy: You're a fool Rob! A darn fool! You can't choose your destiny. You can only choose to meet it! ... But don't worry, you will! You just have to have time to let this sink in! ... Now how do I get out of here?

(Derpy looks around. Cut to the hotel room.)

Twilight: This is horrible! John's back home, and we're trapped in enemy soil! What do we do?!  
Doug: I suggest an attack. A full frontal assault by all of us. Twilight and I will orchestrate it ourselves.  
Sunset: Darn it, Doug! This isn't the time for friendship, it's a time to attack! If you lead, you'll just knock him down and talk to him! He'll have plenty of time to blow the detonator, and he'll kill us all!  
Doug: I can do this, Sunset! I've seen Star Trek Into Darkness dozens of times!  
Sunset: No!  
Doug: Please?  
Sunset: No. It's just too risky.  
Doug: Pretty please?  
Sunset: Shut up! Now, while of course our real enemy is Gilda, our problem is getting Rob away from her, so we can talk sense into him and just get the heck out of here. But we're desperate. And desperate times call for desperate measures. There is only one logical option.

(Everyone looks at Dennis.)

Dennis: Hold on now, why's everyone looking at me? I may have issues, but I was just joshing about that. You'd have to be- No... No. You're not seriously suggesting...?  
Rainbow Dash: He wouldn't suspect us all if just you go. He'll just think you lost control.  
Dennis: No! You're crazy! You're all crazy!  
Scootaloo: Dennis, we need an edge, and that edge is unpredictability!  
Dennis: No! I... I won't be able to! I just barely made it back to the realm of sanity after the Captain Awesome incident! If I do this again, there may not be any coming back!  
Sunset: Give in to the madness, Dennis. Deep down inside, you know who you truly are. You're both.  
Dennis: No gosh darn it! I mean... I was before but... That was the past...

(Trixie grabs Dennis and roughly shakes him.)

Trixie: Listen to your senses, man!

(Trixie slaps Dennis.)

Trixie: If you're not gonna do it for the team, then do it for your friends, the team!

(Dennis looks at all the desperate faces and gulps.)

Dennis: You do realize that once he's unleashed, there's no holding him back.  
Sunset: Sometimes the best way to fight a madman is to send in another madman.  
Doug: Sunset, that's the dumbest plan I've ever heard in my life!  
Sunset: Is it though?  
Twilight: Yes! You're asking your boyfriend to risk losing his sanity forever!  
Sunset: No, he's going to be fine, I know it!

(Sunset looks at Dennis who looks between her and Doug.)

Dennis: ... Okay... I'll give into the madness.

(Dennis turns his back to them. He then begins groaning as everyone looks on, fascinated but disturbed as Sunset's encouraging smile slips a few notches as Dennis' lab coat suddenly slips onto him, as his goggles appear along with his power gloves, and he turns around laughing as Dr. Insano. Cut to the next morning as Doug and Twilight walks around the side of the house.)

Doug: Twi, this is ridiculous. We have no strategy for this. Plus he's a version of me that went nuts because of the system. If he fights the system, he'll just take it over!  
Twilight: Look, maybe Sunset is right, and Dennis will just pull back once Rob is KO'd, and that right now we have to fight madness with madness. If that's true then he's the craziest we've got. Are you ready there, Doc?

(They look forward as Insano is there.)

Insano: I was born ready!

(Insano goes in.)

Doug: I've got a bad feeling about this.

(Cut to Rob watching Batman: The Animated Series when Insano bursts in.)

Rob: Oh hey. You gave into the madness. That's awesome. Wait...

(Insano comes up and punches Rob down.)

Rob: Hey!  
Insano: Sorry Rob, but your reign of terror is at an end, and my reign of terror is just beginning! HAAHAHAHAHA!  
Rob: Alright, you beaker sucking clown, you want a piece of me, well you got it.

(Insano beats the snot out of Rob.)

Rob: Oh gosh! Mommy! MOMMY!

(Rob punches back as Insano is flung into the kitchen.)

Insano: Oh...

(They then begin fighting and get into a struggle as Fluttershy comes up.)

Fluttershy: Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!

(Rob gets Insano into a purple nurple before Insano takes off his stethoscope, puts it on Rob, and screams into it, making Rob groan as he backs away. They then go back to throwing punches as Fluttershy's hiding under the table.)

Rob: Fluttershy, Insano's gone insane! Help me out here, will ya?!  
Fluttershy: Okay. Um... Dr. Insano, sir, I would really appreciate it if you-  
Insano: Go away.  
Fluttershy: Oh, okay.  
Rob: ... Dang.

(Insano then gets Rob into a headlock and drags him back to the living room as he laughs and doesn't release Rob until he falls to the ground. Insano then repeatedly punches Rob until he's knocked out. Cut back outside.)

Twilight: I can't believe he did it.  
Doug: Huh. Maybe I was wrong.

(Insano pulls out a walkie talkie.)

Insano: Princess 1, Princess 1, this is Science Master 2. Rob is down. Repeat, Rob is down.  
Sunset (statically): Good work, Dennis. Return to base with Rob.  
Insano: Not so fast, Sunset! I have a few requests before I bring Rob to you.  
Sunset: Say what?  
Insano: Well first of all, I WANT MOLOSSIA!  
Sunset: Dennis, that wasn't part of the deal.  
Insano: I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further. Oh wait, another few alterations.

(Rob's eyes bolt open as he stands up.)

Insano: I want magic outlawed on Molossian soil. You will be my empress, and you have to dress like Illia from Star Trek: The Motion Picture with the Princess Leia Gold Bikini underneath. Um... I would also like my own flag made for me by Rarity. One with the evolution of man except with me at the end of the line. Oh, and I'd also like my own ice cream parlor. There's never an ice cream parlor around when you really need one. Oh, and it better have chocolate, chocolate chip! Heaven help you if it doesn't have chocolate, chocolate chip! And perhaps-

(Insano turns around and sees Rob.)

Insano: Oh boy.

(Rob shoots lightning out of his gloves as it shocks Insano and sends him to the ground.)

Insano: Whatever happened to the purity of unarmed combat?!  
Rob: Oh, this is just superconductor electromagnetism. Certainly you've heard of it. It levitates bullet trains from Tokyo to Osaka. It will levitate my rocket chair when it finally arrives, and it also levitates... Me...

(He appears to float up and move around as Insano stares.)

Insano: Rob, you're just standing on your toes. You don't have rocket boots.  
Rob: Oh bite me. Quoting movies is fun.

(Insano then fires lightning at him.)

Insano: I however... DO HAVE ROCKET BOOTS!

(Insano floats up and shoots lightning at him as Rob groans.)

Insano: Your electromagnetism is no match for my science!  
Rob: That is science.  
Insano: WELL I'M SCIENCIER!

(The two get into a finger lightning struggle as Rob just stops and moves aside, causing Insano to lose his balance and crash into the table.)

Insano: Ouch.  
Rob: And now the end.

(Rob holds up a gun as Insano frets when Doug and Twilight arrive.)

Twilight: Wait, don't kill him!  
Rob: Why not?  
Twilight: Well technically, he's still Dennis in there.  
Rob: I think it's worth it.  
Insano: MOMMY!  
Doug: Rob, don't do it! This isn't you. You've been listening to Gilda's advice so much that she's turned you into a puppet ruler! Don't listen to her and just give up Molossia! Then we can head home!  
Rob: Oh come on, you're sounding as nutty as Derpy.  
Doug: Derpy's here?

(Derpy lands outside with a crash as the flag pole comes down.)

Derpy: Oops. My bad.  
Twilight: Look Rob, don't kill him. It's not his fault!  
Rob: What?  
Twilight: Well, maybe someone put him up to it.  
Rob: Is someone conspiring against me?  
Doug: No, no, we're just talking out of our butts. Whatever gave you that idea?  
Rob: Well Twilight said that someone's conspiring against me.  
Twilight: I didn't say that. I just said maybe.  
Insano: I still have so much more science to do! Like making a new Neutro!  
Doug: Come on, Rob. He doesn't know what he's talking about.  
Rob: Oh, would a few holes in the doctor help?!  
Twilight & Doug: NO!  
Rob: Then what's going on?!  
Doug: Nothing is wrong. I assure you, nothing is wrong.  
Rob: You're all conspiring against me! You're all a part of this!  
Doug: Uh... Um...  
Twilight: Well...  
Rob: You're all against me.  
Doug (laughing nervously): You're just paranoid, Rob.  
Rob: Who else is in on it!  
Doug: No one! No one is in on anything! We're all your friends.  
Rob: Are you?  
Twilight: Yes.  
Rob: ARE YOU?!

(Fluttershy comes up.)

Fluttershy: Oh my goodness! Rob, stop!  
Rob: They're all conspiring against us!  
Fluttershy: No, I'm sure there's some kind of mistake! Just put the gun down! How'd you even get a gun!  
Rob: Gilda gave it to me.  
Doug: Oh boy.

(Everyone else comes in.)

Sunset: What's going on?  
Insano: I don't know!  
Derpy: Hey come on, Rob, put the gun down. It's not very healthy.

(Rob panics and shoots Derpy in the leg.)

Derpy: Ah!

(Derpy begins crying.)

Rob: Oh my gosh, Derpy! Oh man, I didn't mean to... Oh... I...  
Rainbow Dash: Oh son of a- You... You...  
Rob: It was an accident! I swear!

(Everyone goes to Derpy and picks her up as they teleport away.)

Rob: I... Fluttershy, you saw. I didn't mean to...

(Fluttershy leaves.)

Rob: Fluttershy?

(Gilda comes down.)

Gilda: Hey, what was with that racket?  
Rob: I just shot Derpy in the leg.  
Gilda: Ew.  
Rob: Maybe they're right, and I should leave.  
Gilda: Oh come on. You just had a stressful couple of days. You'll be fine in your room.

(Gilda takes him in and closes the door as she smirks. Cut to the hotel room as Derpy's leg is bandaged up by Twilight and Doug.)

Doug: You okay, Derpy?  
Derpy: Yeah. Don't blame Rob. It wasn't his fault.  
Doug: Yeah.  
Chris: Okay, what are we gonna do? We can't go back there with Rob so paranoid.  
Sunset: Chris is right! We've gotta think of something fast!  
Applejack: Alright, but not by you! For goodness sake, look at Insano?

(They go to Insano on the bed.)

Insano: I feel like a puppy that's been raped by a bulldozer.  
Sunset: Oh man, Dennis, I'm so sorry! Please just take off the goggles, and we can pretend this never happened! Aside from your bruises.  
Insano: Dennis Fielder is dead, Sunset.  
Sunset: Oh no. What have I done?! Okay, we have to think of something else!  
Rainbow Dash: Maybe Doug and Twilight should think of something.  
Sunset: Yeah, you might have a point.

(They look at Doug and Twilight as Doug's polishing his magic gun.)

Sunset: What do you say, guys? Some strategic thinking and friendship?  
Doug: ... Alright. I mean, I know we've had our differences, Sunset. But your love of epicness, Twilight's love of planning, and my arsenal might serve us well.  
Sunset: So you'll do it?  
Doug: It's my job to do it.

(Doug takes off his clothes to reveal a TNG uniform as he holsters his gun.)

Twilight: Were you wearing that the whole time we've been here?  
Doug: They make nice PJs.  
Twilight: Alright.  
Doug: Okay gang, here's how it's gonna work. We're gonna hit Rob during the day. We're gonna hit him like Taco Bell at 3pm!  
Twilight: Now the reason why we're hitting during the day is because it'll be less likely Rob will have the detonator on him, especially when we let him have it and drag his butt back here to talk sense into him. Derpy will be home base since she can't do much with that bum leg. Once we have Rob, we'll take down Gilda and just call Nevada's governor and request that Molossia be annexed into the USA. Now for taking Rob, Sunset, Doug, and I will be stationed in the backyard. Pinkie Pie, Chris, and Rarity will travel in through the back. Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Trixie will be leading a frontal assault since they're the toughest. Finally, the three kids will be sent in, and it'll be their jobs to hold the exits and mainly keep Gilda and Rob separated.  
Applebloom: Good plan.

(There's a knock as they look up and nervously go to the door as Fluttershy is there.)

Doug: Fluttershy?  
Fluttershy: Um, I came to check on Derpy.  
Derpy: I'm okay.  
Fluttershy: Well I was wondering if I um... Could help?  
Doug: ... Yes! Change of plans, the kids will stay here with Derpy, and Fluttershy will be the insider to keep Rob and Gilda separate!  
Twilight: Great! Everybody set?

(They nod.)

Twilight: Good, now listen carefully. We've only got a few days to plan this out, so let's get it right.

(Cut to them doing rehearsals of the attack, using Risk as a map. Cut to several days later.)

Trixie: Well that's it. Tomorrow is the big attack. You know we're all being very brave to do this, but then again that has been the way of all great fights.  
_God has smiled upon us, this day.  
The fate of our friendships' in our hands.  
And blessed by the children, we.  
Who fight with all our bravery.  
'Till only the righteous stand.  
We see the distant flames.  
They bellow in the night.  
We'll fight in all our names  
For what we know is right.  
And if we all get shot and cannot carry on,  
Though we die, Le Resistance lives on!  
_Everybody: _We may get stabbed in the head  
With a dagger or sword.  
We may be burnt to death,  
Or skinned alive, or worse.  
But when they torture us,  
We will not feel the need to run for  
Though we die, Le Resistance lives on!  
_  
(Cut to Gilda talking to Rob.)

Gilda: _Blame all those dweebs!  
Blame all those dweebs!  
With them the country's gone awry!  
Tomorrow night, those geeks will fry!  
_  
(Cut to back to the gang as they're getting ready for the morning.)

Everyone: _They may cut our feet in half!  
And serve them to a pig!  
And though it hurts we'll laugh!  
And dance a footless jig!  
But that's the way it goes!  
In war we're all fought upon!  
Though we die... Le Resistance... Lives on . . .!  
_  
(Everyone stops and does a quick run through of the plan.)

Doug: Alright gang, let's take 'em down.

(Cut to the next morning as Rob's getting up, and he goes to the TV to watch I Love Lucy, but he just flings the remote away as Gilda comes up.)

Gilda: Hey Rob, I'm gonna go take a look around.  
Rob: Whatever.

(Gilda walks around the backyard humming when Chris' Hammer just misses her as she ducks when it makes the loop back.)

Gilda: What the heck?!

(Cut to Sunset, Twilight, and Doug hiding near the shed.)

Doug: Excellent shot, Mr. Mccool. Now move your team forward. Sunset, fire!

(Sunset releases a blast that Gilda ducks.)

Twilight: Man, she's more agile than I remember.  
Doug: Don't worry. Everything is going to plan. Fluttershy, are you in position?  
Fluttershy (statically): Yes, all the doors are locked and deadvolted, and Twilight's muffler spell's been cast. Rob can't hear a thing going on outside.  
Doug: Perfect. Keep Rob as busy as possible until we're ready to go in and get him out.  
Fluttershy: Okay.

(Cut to Gilda as she runs to the front yard, where Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Trixie are.)

Gilda: Hey Dash. I'm so happy your here. Those dweebs in the backyard are trying to kill me! I think they're being led by Halbeisen and Sparkle. Destroy them until they're nothing but rubble!

(Trixie pulls out a Harry Potter Wand, Applejack stretches, and Rainbow Dash pulls out a Lightsaber.)

Gilda: Didn't you hear me?!  
Rainbow Dash: Yup.  
Gilda: So?

(They charge.)

Gilda: Oh no!

(Gilda runs into Chris, Pinkie, and Rarity.)

Gilda: Oh come on!  
Chris: This one's for Dennis and Derpy!

(Chris tosses his hammer again as Gilda catches it and is flung into the front yard, as she can't lift it when Pinkie appears in front of her.)

Pinkie: Hi!  
Gilda: Help!  
Pinkie: Sorry. The secret word was pie.

(Pinkie slams a cream pie into her face as she screams out when Rarity just turns Gilda's jacket around, blinding her.)

Doug: That's my cue.  
Twilight: Your cue? Doug, we have no idea how Rob will be when he sees you and figures out you're kidnapping him.  
Doug: He'll trust me, and I'm sure he'll know I mean the best.  
Twilight: For heaven's sake, man, he almost shot Insano! Doug, I can't let you do this!  
Doug: Twilight, Rob was the first friend I made when I moved to Canterlot. I may have no idea what I'm supposed to do after I get him, but I do know what I can do now.

(Twilight nods as Doug teleports in as Fluttershy nods and Doug grabs Rob's neck.)

Rob: What the heck are you doing?  
Doug: The... Vulcan... Nerve Pinch?  
Rob: No, no, stupid. You got it much too high. It's down where the shoulder meets the neck.  
Doug: Oh.

(Doug does it as Rob passes out, and he teleports out with him and Fluttershy as the doors unlock, and Gilda rushes in.)

Doug: Alright, Rob, now listen, we're your friends, and we need you to stop listening to Gilda! To her you're just a puppet ruler, so she can keep in charge!  
Rob: You're right.  
Doug: Now don't- Huh?  
Rob: You're right. I... I should've just let the thing go when Gilda first showed up. I... I don't know what was wrong with me. I'm sorry everybody, and I'd like to help you boot Gilda out and do whatever you want with Molossia... If you'll let me.

(Doug smiles and hands Rob a DS9 uniform that he's then magically swapped into.)

Doug: Alright. Now that we're together, no one can stop us!  
Rob: Wait, what about John?

(John drives up with Derpy and the kids.)

John: Guys, bad news. Insano's- Oh, you got Rob back to his senses. That's awesome.  
Rob: Hey John, you were right and-  
John: Don't worry. I accept that you can get full of yourself.  
Rob: ... Yeah. And Derpy-  
Derpy: I'm okay.

(Derpy comes out with the kids as they all nod and storm in as Gilda's hiding in the kitchen when they arrive, and Rob grabs her.)

Gilda: Oh crud. What are you gonna do to me?  
Rob: I'm going to... To... Um...  
Rainbow Dash (sighing): Knock Gilda out.  
Rob: Knock you out! And uh...  
Rainbow Dash: Drag her out of Molossia.  
Rob: Drag you out of Molossia.  
Rainbow Dash: And call the governor to have Molossia annexed back into the USA.  
Rob: And call the governor to have Molossia annexed back into the USA and return Mr. Baugh's choo-choo personally!  
Fluttershy: Yay.

(They knock Gilda out as they move for the door when Insano pops down.)

Insano: Not so fast, fools!  
Doug: Dr. Insano!  
John: Yeah, we wanted to tell you that he disappeared just after you left.  
Insano: Indeed, using my brand new portable transporter! EEHEEHEEHEE! Now, you will surrender Molossia to me, or I'll use Rob's detonator to blow you all sky high! AHAHAHAHA!  
John: It's not gonna work, Insano. I disarmed all the bombs last night.  
Insano: I don't believe you! Now eat death, you friendship loving freaks!

(Insano pushes a button as it does nothing.)

Insano: ... Uh-oh.

(Rob punches Insano in the gut and knocks him down.)

Pinkie: Now let's just call the governor.  
Trixie: Yup. Rob?

(Rob calls the governor.)

Rob: Hey, this is Rob Bugie. I'd like to talk to the governor of Nevada... Hey sir. I would like Molossia annexed back into the USA... Great. Nice talking to you, sir. Good luck in the next election.

(Rob hangs up.)

Rob: That's it. Molossia is officially just an acre of land in Nevada.  
Sunset: Whoo! We retook Molossia and gave it back to the USA!  
Insano: Aw. Oh well. I better get back to work on that orbital death ray. See you at school. Oh, by the way, do any of you think 5.99 is a fair price for Star Trek VII?  
Doug: Yeah. I got mine for ten bucks.  
Insano: Alright, later.  
Sunset: See you next week, Dennis.  
Insano: Okay.  
Trixie: Why are you still dating him?  
Sunset: Well it's personality and... And... Stuff.  
Rob: Okay. One more thing to do.

(Cut to a house in Florida as Rob knocks and Mr. Baugh comes out.)

Rob: Hey Mr. Baugh, loved you in Kickassia. Anyway, as you might have heard we temporarily took over Molossia before it ended up annexed, and we noted that you left a toy train there.  
Mr. Baugh: Thanks. My son's been missing this. Have a good year.  
Rob: You too sir.

(They head off content with their last year of high school and the many challenges that lie ahead of them.)

The End.


	3. Doug is Missing

**Equestria Teens**

**Season 3**

Episode 3: Doug is Missing

(It opens with Insano in his lair with a copy of Star Trek: Generations.)

Insano: Ha! Star Trek, you are indeed the franchise for me! And it's just what I needed after getting the snot kicked out of me twice in a few days. Still, I think I'm starting to like this dimension. I haven't gotten any complaints from Noah Antwiler, so I guess it's time to finally get my orbital death ray ready! EEHHEEEEHEEHEE!

(As Insano's laughing a device beeps, and he stops and goes to it.)

Insano: What the-? ... Oh no... She's coming. She's coming!

(Cut to the gang hanging out at Pinkie's place as they're celebrating their return home and the start up of senior year.)

Doug: Man Pinkie, you should totally be a party planner when you grow up!  
Pinkie: Ooh... That's a really, really, really cool idea, Doug!  
Rob: Hey Rainbow, great idea on what to do with Gilda.  
Rainbow Dash: Actually it was Twilight's.  
Rob: Oh and John, sorry about the whole banishing thing.  
John: Eh. We all make mistakes.

(Suddenly Insano appears.)

Doug: Oh hey, Insano. What's up?  
Insano: Oh hello gang. I'm just here to say good-bye.  
Twilight: Then why'd you say hello?  
Doug: You're leaving?  
Insano: Yup. Just clearing out of this universe while I can.  
Rob: Aw... Did the beat down that we gave you in Molossia make you all scaredy-wardey?

(Insano laughs.)

Insano: You stupid, silly little fools. Did any of you ever stop to think why I left my own universe in the first place?  
Rarity: Actually, can't say I have.  
Applejack: Me neither.  
Insano: Ha! You incompetent little worms. There are things in the multiverse far beyond anything you've ever seen in reality or any of the stories you love to read and write. Ancient, mindless evils that fill in the cracks of nothingness and eat dimensions just for a light snack. Monstrous deities and empires spanning several universes have risen and fallen ever since God said "Make it so"! But there is still one force, one being that they all fear. When I saw her coming near my universe, I fled. Eeheehee. Weep for your universe, Doug! Weep for all the universes! Because Lady Chrysalis is coming! And all that she sees... SHE CONQUERS! AHHAHAHAH!

(Insano uses his portable transporter to transport away as Doug can only stare before swirling white light surrounds him, and he disappears as he calls out in shock.)

Pinkie: ... Well that's a downer.

(Cut to a week later as everyone's still going over the spot in Pinkie's house with all of Doug's tricorders, scanners, and everything else they have at their disposal.)

John: Okay gang, until we find Doug, we keep this under our hats. No one can know that he's up and disappeared, or else we'll have to answer a lot of questions that truthfully, would land us in an asylum. Understood?

(Everyone nods.)

John: Now Twilight, found anything yet?  
Twilight: No. It's hard to get a trace on him even with all this stuff. All we can tell is that there was some kind of energy surge from outside this dimension. It's like someone scooped him right out of our universe and is holding him.  
Rob: I bet Insano's responsible, and that story about a Chrysalis was just bull plop to put Doug off his guard.  
Twilight: No, the energy trace is completely different from when Insano teleported out.  
Pa: We need to find him. Not just because of all the stuff he learned from Asteroth's book, but with him gone, a lot of questions are gonna be asked not just from the people in town, but from the whole family. Plus if whoever took him figured out how his stuff worked, we'd all be in danger.  
John: I get you, Mote. If you need help keeping Doug's MIA a secret from Old Lady Prune just whistle. I'll show those punks what happens when you mess with one of my friends.

(Cut to another week later as Miss Prune goes up to Doug's house when Chris stops.)

Chris: Uh, hey there. Wh-what are you doing?  
Miss Prune: I'm going to ask Mr. Fielder why his grandson wasn't in school for the past few weeks. Those girls of Amalthea may be willing to look the other way, but I know my duty.  
Chris: It's nothing to worry about. It's that... Doug's visiting his aunt and uncle back in Michigan. He should be back in a few more weeks.  
Miss Prune: Fine, but I expect to talk to him soon.

(Miss Prune walks off.)

Chris: Phew.

(Chris goes in.)

Chris: Don't worry guys. I got Miss Prune off our backs for a few weeks by saying Doug was with his aunt and uncle.  
John: What is wrong with you, Chris?! When I said "Keep this under your hat" I didn't mean tell Miss Prune to get Doug's family involved!  
Chris: Relax John. You know Doug has dozens of aunts and uncles. Miss Prune would never be able to pin down which one he would be staying with.  
John: Oh right. Huh. You know Chris, every now and then those rainbows and flowers in your head actually manage to make that brain of yours work.  
Chris: Thanks! ... I think...

(Twilight comes in.)

Twilight: Okay guys, I've finally located an energy trail. Give me two weeks, and we'll have Doug back.

(Cut to another week later as Twilight continues investigating the energy trail, connecting a tricorder to her computer as Brian and Spike join her.)

Brian: So kid, anything?  
Twilight: I've localized the trail by boosting the tricorder's scanning power. He seems to be on a large ship.  
Brian: Can you get him back?  
Twilight: Working on it now. It shouldn't take more than a week.  
Spike: Don't worry, Brian. Twilight's got it covered. We're gonna be fine.  
Twilight: I hope so. How have things at your end been, Mr. Fielder?  
Pa: They've been better. Prune's been calling every aunt and uncle Doug has, and she's narrowing the field of where he could be, and most of my time's gone into assuring the ones Miss Prune called that Doug is fine.  
John: Chris!  
Chris: How was I supposed to know she'd call every single aunt and uncle Doug had?

(Cut to the last week they have as Twilight's working as the rest of the gang's there when there's a rumble.)

John: What in the name of King Arthur was that?!  
Twilight: I've finally begun the process to get Doug back.  
Fluttershy: So um... We get him back and nothing bad happens?  
Twilight: Well... Not exactly.  
John: What do you mean?  
Twilight: I can't get an exact lock on Doug. That ship is too well shielded, but I can beam up anything in the room that's about his size in one huge burst.  
Rainbow Dash: Sounds like a fight.

(Twilight pulls out the Harry Potter Wand.)

Twilight: Arm yourselves.

(John pulls out a riffle Pa uses for hunting.)

John: Way ahead of you, my dear.

(A dazed Doug is beamed back with several cloaked figures that call out in a high rasp.)

Rob: Let's get 'em!

(John lets one of the figures have it with a shot gun before he runs out of ammo, grabs the Power Pole and just slugs the figure with it. One of the creatures runs for Twilight.)

Twilight: Petrifiticus Totalus!

(The figure is paralyzed and falls over. Two of the figures go to Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy as Rainbow Dash comes up.)

Rainbow Dash: I'd like you to meet a friend of mine.

(Rainbow Dash pulls out Peter's sword from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.)

Rainbow Dash: Rinden.

(Rainbow Dash slashes at the figures as they go flying. One of the figures go for Rarity as she kicks it away.)

Rarity: Take that you roughian.

(Pinkie just giggles at the figure as it sheds its cloak to reveal a figure that looks like her father.)

Pinkie: Ooh, that's good! Do Blinky!

(It sighs and seems to flicker into Blinky, revealing a black metallic shape in between.)

Pinkie: Awesome! Now me!

(The figure roles its eyes as it turns into Pinkie.)

Pinkie: Eh. I've seen better.

(Pinkie punches it in the gut and knocks it away as Rob and Chris help Doug up as Twilight goes to him, being covered by two blasts of fire by Spike and Brian.)

Doug: Oh... Mommy, can I have som chili?  
Rob: Dude, snap out of it.  
Doug: Oh, man, this is bad.

(Doug goes up to another figure blocking Twilight as he taps its shoulder.)

Doug: Excuse me.

(Doug punches the figure down.)

Twilight: Thanks.  
Doug: Anytime.  
Twilight: What are these things?  
Doug: Lady Chrysalis' foot soldiers. They're called Changelings.  
Rainbow Dash: Cool! Let's kick their butts!  
Doug: Oh, it gets better.

(Doug removes the cloak to reveal the black metallic shape Pinkie saw with glowing green eyes as he then slices its head off with a Lightsaber to reveal wires.)

Doug: They're robots designed to create a stasis field to look like anyone they want.  
Chris: Cool! That means they'll blow up!  
Doug: I know!

(The Changelings gang up on the gang, but Doug grabs the Magic Gun and fries them with it, leaving mechanical debris. Everyone sighs with relief.)

Pa: Good to have you back, Doug.  
Doug: Good to be back, Pa. There's three days I'd rather not go through again.  
Twilight: Three days? You've been gone a month.  
Doug: Say huh?  
Brian: Looks like you're both right.  
Everybody: What?  
Brian: Well according to these readouts, time moves differently in the reality that ship was holding Doug in.  
Doug: Well the important thing is I'm back, we kicked butt, and I'm ready for a nice long vacation.

(The gang high fives before their faces fall.)

Twilight: Wait, I think we're forgetting something. SCHOOL!  
Doug: Oh shoot!

(They rush off as Pa goes to Brian.)

Pa: You know what, Brian, I think those kids are gonna be okay.  
Brian: Yup.

(Cut to Chrysalis' ship as a gloved hand is tapping on the armrest of a chair.)

Chrysalis: Report Chief Changeling.

(It lets out a mechanical whirl.)

Chrysalis: So the champion of this world that we captured has escaped. No matter. The Entity has fled to this universe, and so I set my gaze upon it, and all that I see... I conquer.

(Cut back to Doug's place after school as he's scanning a Changeling head with his tricorder.)

Doug: Hm.  
Brian: What?  
Doug: Just a little something I'm picking up from this thing.  
Brian: Isn't that a Changeling robot?  
Doug: Yup.  
Brian: Do you know anything new?  
Doug: Well I know a couple of things. When they had me on Chrysalis' ship, they were mostly just scanning me. I think when Insano teleported out of this universe, he got Chrysalis' attention, and she beamed me up thinking I was Insano. During an escape attempt, I managed to break part of one, which was how I figured out they were robots.  
Brian: But they're not just robots, are they?  
Doug: No, there's some serious magic going on here. They're magically charged robots. Their power is linked directly to Chrysalis' ship even across dimensions, but it's the energy signature that's interesting.  
Brian: How?  
Doug: It's not all there and it's continually in flux, which means that the physical laws of this universe are different from those in Chrysalis'. However en mas, these things can become a problem.  
Brian: We're gonna need more tactical information to fight these things.  
Doug: Fortunately, it looks like we have a good month on our side at least. Brian, I want all the Changeling debris we have broken down and scanned by all of us. We all have to do whatever we can. When they come again, I wanna be ready, and I've got a plan on fighting them too.  
Brian: Right.

(Chris comes in.)

Chris: Hey man, you wanted to see me?  
Doug: Yes. I wanna thank you for helping with the cover, just one thing. Never involve my aunts and uncles in this sort of stuff again... Ever.  
Chris: Right.

To Be Continued...


	4. Silent Hill Z II: The Red Executioner

**Equestria Teens**

**Season 3**

Episode 4: Silent Hill Z II: The Red Executioner

(It opens on Chrysalis' ship as her chief Changeling has changed into the image of Doug.)

MechaDoug: The scans of Doug were very well done. In the three days we had him, I'm a perfect physical match to him, and we were even able to create a psychological profile about him. However, why must I always take the form of our enemy when it seldom comes down to such subterfuge?  
Chrysalis: I am not without a sense of irony Android. After we've completed the full upgrades to your arsenal to accommodate to this universe, it is only fitting that the champions are destroyed by the image of one of their own.  
MechaDoug: What makes you think that I'll always be your willing servant? I have had countless universes worth of knowledge downloaded into my memory banks, and you know that soon I will evolve beyond the need to serve you.  
Chrysalis: Yes, but this is not that day.  
MechaDoug: Fair enough. Now as I said, why the subterfuge? Why not an all out attack?  
Chrysalis: My resources are limited at this moment. Best to conquer slowly and destroy the champions one at a time, so that when the time comes, I can move in unimpeded. I also do not wish to alert the Entity of my presence yet. I must be subtle.  
MechaDoug: If you were going for subtle, kidnapping Doug was a mistake.  
Chrysalis: Indeed, but you know full well I was aiming for Insano, but he escaped before I could quarantine this universe.  
MechaDoug: True. Now to be truly subtle we must destroy him psychologically and then the others. And what better instrument of such an attack than with something he feels he understands? Magic. And in fact, I know just the way to do it.

(Cut to a month later as Doug's computer is playing a compilation of Linkara explaining the origins of his magic gun.)

Linkara (statically): Once upon a time, there was a little girl who lived in a quiet little town with her mother and father. She was a happy child, and she loved her mother and father just as all little children do. She knew of some of the more...unpleasant aspects of the world, but she didn't care, for she loved her mother and father, and they loved her back. At least, that's what she thought, for you see, her parents did not love her because she was their daughter; they loved her because of what they planned to do with her. They worshiped a great and powerful god, and they loved their god more than their daughter.

(Pan out to reveal that no one is at the computer.)

Linkara (statically): When the little girl became thirteen years old, her parents revealed to her why she had been born. While other sects of their church wished to give birth to their god, or simply live peaceful lives in a pact with God, the sect that the little girl's parents belonged to had other goals. They did not believe that God should be on this wretched Earth. At least not until the unbelievers could be purged. And so they told their daughter who loved them very much that her entire purpose in life was to be drained of her essence, so that they could forge a weapon that would smite whomever or whatever they so desired, to cleanse the world of those who would not believe to usher in their paradise. And they tormented their daughter that loved them. Brought about pain and suffering to her, so that she had no strength left safe for her will and her mind. All through it, they laughed and were gleeful even when the girl cried from what they did to her. They said the same thing over and over. "Feel the love of God! Feel your ascension into his glory! May the love of God guide you." Finally, they began to drain her blood, the liquid essence of her will, so that the ritual for the weapon could be completed.

(Pan out to reveal Doug's Magic Gun lying on a table across from the screen, almost as if it was watching the video.)

Linkara (statically): It was then that the daughter stopped loving her parents. She realized that they had never loved her. Had never seen her as anything else other than the means to their goals. And she grew very angry and hateful, but she did as her parents had wanted. Lost everything she was, so that they could have their weapon and kill for their god. The daughter poured all of her rage, all of her hate, all of everything that was mad and that her love had held back into that weapon! Every unchecked drop of emotion was placed in that instrument! It seemed as if she had put her very soul into it. And when the parents tried to pick up the weapon, to use it in their righteous cause, the weapon burned them. Burned their minds and burned their souls! It plunged their psyches into nightmares too horrible to comprehend, giving reprieve only so that it could be snatched up, and the haunting of their very being could continue. But before the parents could receive their final suffering, they asked the weapon why. Why would it do this to them? They loved their god and had even sacrificed the life of their own daughter for it. And the weapon replied, "Because you were my gods, and all I have done is follow your teachings of love." And with those words etched into their last thoughts, the parents descended into madness and death, the weapon laughing in loving devotion.

(Doug comes in and looks at the screen.)

Doug: Huh. Could've sworn I turned this off. Oh well. So Halloween's a coming. Coming 'round the bend. Okay, now better get to work on that script analysis for drama class.  
Twilight (sarcastically): Oh yeah. You're one to get work done as soon as possible.  
Doug: Oh whatever, Twi! ... Huh. Didn't know you were here. Let's see... Urgh, that stupid thing about the couple wanting to get married ASAP. Insert Twilight joke here.  
John: What, you're not even going to try, Doug?  
Doug: I could, but my job isn't to make jokes about a script, just say what I thought of this thing scene by scene.

(Doug finishes up and groans.)

Doug: Oh geez. I never thought breaking down Much Ado About Nothing could be so difficult.  
Twilight: Well, you picked it out.  
John: Really is his own fault.  
Doug: Would you two please put a sock in it!

(Brian comes in.)

Brian: I heard screaming. Are you alright?  
Doug: I would be if people didn't keep interrupting me!  
Brian: ... What people?  
Doug: Twilight and John over th-

(Doug looks as Twilight and John aren't there anymore.)

Brian: Doug, you've been in here for two hours by yourself, and John and Twilight have just come up to see if you were up for a trip to Sugar Cube Corner.  
Doug: What? But they... I...

(Doug walks out holding his face. Cut to Saturday as Doug's holding his Dragon Dagger and contemplating.)

Doug: I am not insane.

(Insano suddenly appears in the room.)

Insano: Talking to people who aren't there sure is a pretty good sign of it. Neha.  
Doug: Someone is trying to trick me. Trying to make me think I'm insane.  
Insano: Paranoia's another sign of insanity.  
Doug: I am not listening to you. You're not really here.  
Insano: Of course I'm not. Delusions. See where I'm going with this?  
Doug: I am going to proceed with my day and get my mind off of this stuff.  
Insano: You know, you really should kill yourself.  
Doug: Shut up...  
Insano: You could still grow up to be me after all. The potential will always be there. Oops. There's that paranoia again. Nehaha.  
Doug: I said shut up!  
Insano: Kill yourself! Like you killed her!  
Doug: I HAVEN'T KILLED ANYONE!

(Doug charges with the dagger when nothing's there, and he drops it as the gang comes in.)

Applejack: Uh... You okay there, Doug?  
Doug: Yeah... Yeah, sure.  
John: Look pal, we're worried about you. You've been talking to people who aren't there for two days straight.  
Doug: I know, and if I know, that means I'm not insane, right?  
Twilight: Y-yeah. Of course.  
Doug: I think someone might be after me. Better keep my Magic Gun with me at all-

(He grabs it as a flash of a little girl with her parents flashes through his mind as he drops it.)

Doug: Ah! What was that?  
Rainbow Dash: What was what?  
Doug: This weird flash in my head of some girl. Oh... My head feels like it's splitting open.  
Chris: Don't worry pal. Everything's okay.  
Doug: Alright.

(Doug turns as another Rob is standing beside him.)

Doug: Um... Hello.  
Fake Rob: What's up, you murderous piece of trash.  
Doug: Okay, this isn't happening. You're not the real Rob. He's standing over there with my other friends.  
Fake Rob: Oh yeah? Why would I want to be seen with a miserable murderer like you?  
Doug: Superman kills Zod.  
Rob: What the heck is wrong with Zack Snyder!

(Doug turns as the other Rob is gone.)

Doug: Okay. I think I'm beginning to get this under control.  
Rarity: Doug dear, you're kind of disturbing us with all this talk about people who aren't there.  
Doug: Sorry.

(The flash occurs again.)

Doug: Ah! ... What's doing that?! ... Wait... I know what this is. It's Silent Hill. It's coming for us again!

(A fog comes in with sirens.)

Doug: Oh no you don't!

(Doug turns on a fan that blows the fog away.)

Fluttershy: Yay.  
Doug: It pays to be prepared.

(Cut to Halloween night as the ten teens stay together for security waiting for the strike.)

Doug: Oh man, I'm beginning to hate Halloween what with all these hallucinations, the fog, and those darned sirens.

(Doug turns as Derpy's there.)

Doug: Yes, can I help you?  
Derpy: You're a jerk!  
Doug: ... Okay...  
Pinkie: Hallucination again?  
Doug: Yup. Man, I could just ring the neck of whoever's doing this!  
John: Yeah, you'd know all about killing little girls, wouldn't you, Doug?  
Doug: John, what are you talking about?  
John: Doug, I didn't say anything.  
Doug: Oh boy.

(A siren blares again as they end up in the Other World.)

Doug: Crud...  
Fluttershy: Mm.

(They walk around as Doug grabs the Magic Gun for safety as they walk out the door when their way to the living room is blocked by a bag that none of them can move.)

Doug: What the-?  
Rob: Oh screw it.

(Rob takes a phaser and vaporizes the bag.)

Doug: Thanks.  
Rob: No problem.

(There's another flash as Doug clutches his head.)

Doug: Ah! ... What's going on here?  
Brian: Blinded by sorrow and guilt I'd say.  
Pa: It's his own fault, the murdering psychopath.  
Doug: I have had enough of this! Would you people just-!

(Pa and Brian are gone.)

Doug: I did what I had to do for- What am I talking about? I didn't do anything! Whatever you are, whatever is doing this, I deny you!

(A demonic nurse walks up as Doug shoots it with the Magic Gun.)

Doug: Seriously? A demon nurse? I haven't even been to a hospital in years!  
Twilight: Okay, the demonic nurse I saw.  
Rob: Oh god! What if we're catching the madness!

(Doug groans as the image flashes through his mind again.)

Linkara: Once upon a time there was a little girl.

(Cut to another flash as Doug drops the gun as it seems to burn.)

Linkara: The weapon burned their minds. Burned their souls.  
Doug: Wha... What's going on? What's wrong with my magic gun?  
Chris: The problem is that it exists at all, you sick freak.  
Doug: Chris, what are you-?  
Chris: Doug, I didn't say anything.

(There's another flash.)

Linkara: They loved their god and even sacrificed the life of their own daughter.

(Doug falls to the ground as he sees a book and goes through it.)

Doug: "Those who are dead are not dead. They're just living in my head. And since I fell for that spell, I've been living there as well."

(He turns to another page with a poem on it.)

Doug: "Once through the light among the fight, in the sky, the lost beast takes flight. To bring the world misery and blight. A piece of the world is missing."

(Doug flips through some more as he finds a small note.)

Doug: "She didn't get to heaven. Not even close."

(He turns the page over.)

Doug: "I didn't go to heaven. It hurts every time I don't go to heaven."

(Doug looks at the next page.)

Doug: "They didn't love me."

(Doug looks at his Magic Gun.)

Doug: Oh geez. What did they... What did I do?  
Twilight: Doug, you didn't do anything. You-  
Voice: Daddy.

(They look up to see a girl of thirteen wrapped in bandages with one arm in a sling, and all they can see of the face is a solitary eye.)

Doug: It's just like in Linkara's backstory of the Magic Gun. You were thirteen years old when you were killed. You were sacrificed to build a weapon that their church could use against their enemies.

(Doug holds up the Magic Gun.)

Doug: This weapon. Your own parents tortured you and killed you. I'm so sorry.  
Girl: Daddy...

(The image flashes again.)

Doug: AH!  
Girl: Daddy.  
Doug: You... You think that I'm-

(Doug has another flash.)

Doug: Oh my gosh... Am I?  
Twilight: No Doug! You're not! She's wrong. You're you! Not some murderous cultist!  
Doug (not hearing Twilight): The memories, the visions, the judgments. It was me.  
Rob: Dude, didn't you hear Twilight?! It wasn't you!  
Girl: Daddy...  
Doug: Everything that I did...  
Twilight: You didn't do anything!  
Doug: I... I did that to my own daughter?  
John: She isn't your daughter, Doug! Snap out of it!  
Doug: What kind of monster am I?  
Pinkie: Doug, you're not any kind of monster! She's just really, really confused!  
Doug (voice breaking): ... I can never make it right.  
Applejack: Doug, listen to us!  
Doug: I'm so sorry.  
Rainbow Dash: There's nothing to be sorry for!

(Doug puts the Magic Gun to his head.)

Twilight: No Doug! Don't do it!

(Twilight tries to pull Doug's arm down, but she can't budge it as Doug pulls the trigger.)

Twilight: DOUG . . .!

(Cut to a white field as Doug is standing there with an unmaimed version of the girl.)

Magic Gun: No... You are my partner. You are my friend.

(Doug opens his eyes.)

Magic Gun: You're all my friends.

(Doug opens his eyes and gets up.)

Doug: Well that was refreshing.  
Twilight: Huh?!

(The Red Executioner tries the flash again, but it doesn't work.)

Doug: Sorry, not getting in there again.

(The Red Executioner tries again.)

Doug: Oh no you don't. You've played that card. See, I'm not some guy with marital problems or parental issues. You're not dealing with a character from Silent Hill or Stephen King.

(The Red Executioner tries on the others as they back up but quickly recover as the Magic Gun glows.)

Rob: Sorry. You can't trick one of us when we've already seen the show from behind the scenes.  
Doug: Time and again, someone got it in their heads that they could defeat us. Time and again we've been beaten down and knocked out, and they've tried to make us give up. You come at me and my friends with insecurities, self doubt and angst?! You try to make us forget who we are?!  
John: We are the ones who rediscovered the Spells of Asteroth!  
Doug: We are the ones who defeated Dr. Insano and Pyramid Head!  
Pinkie: We're the ones who stopped the Red Bull and King Haggard!  
Applejack: We're the ones who proved Captain Awesome was a fraud!  
Twilight: We're the ones who rediscovered Atlantis!  
Rob: We're the liberators of Molossia!  
Chris: We're the ones who rescued Doug from Lady Chrysalis' ship!  
Rainbow Dash: We're the friends of unicorns, dragons, and a bunch of anthropomorphic animals!  
Rarity: We're the ones who... Who... Well we dress fabulously, and that's got to count for something!  
Fluttershy: We're the ones who don't give into big meanies like you!

(Doug pulls out his Magic Gun as all the apparitions from the last few days fade away.)

Doug: Now who the heck are you?

(The Red Executioner cowers fearfully.)

Doug: Ah, but I think I know who you are. Whatever you are, you're not that little girl! You're all the pain, rage, betrayal, and every other dark thought she never felt until her parents broke her heart! You want revenge for what happened to her... Except you can't. Because you already got it. The people who killed that girl. The people responsible for all that rage and hate are all dead. You and the girl killed them already, and that's the rub.

(Doug holds up the gun.)

Doug: That girl poured her soul into this gun, and she's gotten over it. She doesn't need you anymore. She has no one left to hate, and if there's no one left to hate, you don't need to exist. You needed me to be the one to hate and then once you had your way with me, you'd move onto my friends, but I don't think she hates any of us at all. I think we're all partners and friends. Look, we're all very sorry, but it's time for you to go now.  
Red Executioner: No... Revenge... Must... Have... Revenge...  
Rob: Oh shoot.

(She turns as another nurse comes up.)

Doug: Oh, now that's just overkill.

(She then pulls out a Pyramid Head's sword.)

Doug: And that is just plain cheating.

(Doug fires a blast from the Magic Gun, but she blocks with the sword.)

Doug: Alright, I wanted to try this out anyway.

(Doug pulls off his clothes to reveal his Goku outfit.)

Doug: Kamehameha!

(Doug blasts the nurse, but it doesn't do much.)

Doug: Alright. Here goes nothing.

(Doug transforms into a Super Saiyan.)

Chris: Sweet!

(The Nurse charges with the sword as Doug catches it and breaks it. He then punches the Nurse away before returning to normal.)

Doug: And then there was one.

(Doug pulls out the Magic Gun as everyone holds onto the other person's shoulder, and their eyes glow white. A rainbow then emits from the Magic Gun as the Red Executioner screams and disappears as they return to the normal world.)

Doug: Phew. Well that's the end of that.  
Voice: Human...

(Everyone looks around.)

Chris: The heck was that?  
Doug: Beats me. Hey...

(Doug picks the book from the Other World up.)

Doug: This was the book that had all those words in it.  
Twilight: So what does this mean?  
Doug: Who can say? All that I know, or hope, is that whoever she was, she's at peace now.  
Twilight: So why didn't the book fade?  
Doug: No idea. Probably the same thing with the Magic Gun. We'll have to take a look through it when we get the chance.  
Chris: Hey guys, check this out.

(Chris hands Doug a familiar dagger.)

Rainbow Dash: That's a Changeling's dagger!  
Doug: Yeah... And that can only mean one thing... Chrysalis.

(Cut to Chrysalis finally revealed. She wears all black with a shield around her torso and extending to shoulder guards and a large helmet with an angular C on it.)

MechaDoug: We had him. We had him! He held the weapon up to his own head. He had his finger on the trigger. He PULLED the trigger! How could this have happened?!  
Chrysalis: We underestimated him, and we toyed with forces neither of us fully comprehend. Still, I have acquired useful tactical information about his weapons.  
MechaDoug: Lady Chrysalis, a psychological attack can still work. We must try again.  
Chrysalis: No. His will and resolve are too strong now. The attack must be through brute strength. Your upgrades will be completed, and fortunately I have acquired just the scientist to perform those upgrades.

(Dr. Insano comes up laughing.)

Insano: Oh, now here's where things really get interesting. EEHEEEHEEEHAAHAAH!

To Be Continued...


	5. Lady Chrysalis Part 1

**Equestria Teens**

**Season 3**

Episode 5: Lady Chrysalis Part 1

(It opens at Major Pie's ship as he's in his office watching Bob's Burgers when the intercom beeps, and he turns the TV off.)

Major Pie: This is Major Pie. Go ahead.  
Officer: Sir, our readouts from the satellites show some kind of portal opening up over Earth.  
Major Pie: Huh? Can you patch it to my TV?

(He looks at the image as his eyes widen.)

Major Pie: My god.

(Doug's at his computer when he gets a video chat request, and he activates it as Major Pie appears.)

Doug: Hey sir. What's up?  
Major Pie: Uh yeah, Doug, Pinkie told me about how you got captured and held hostage on an interdimensional ship a few months back. That's true, right?  
Doug: Yeah, why?  
Major Pie: Oh... No reason... Except I wanted to know, did it look anything like this?

(Major Pie has the picture from the satellite cover the screen. It's a black and green ship with a triangular design with a flat nose, and across the front is an angular C on the top of the ship front, turned sideways to go with the ship.)

Major Pie: So, how does that look to you?  
Doug: ... Chrysalis...  
Major Pie: Crud...

(Cut to the gang meeting up.)

Doug: Okay Major Pie, we're all here. Show 'em.

(Major Pie shows them new video of the image.)

Major Pie: The thing's still in orbit, and a few nations have attempted to send communications, but none of them have been responded to.  
Rob: Uh... You sure that's the ship you were on, Doug? I mean, you never saw it from the outside.  
Doug: I'm sure. That stylized C is Chrysalis' mark. It's all over the inside of that ship.  
Rainbow Dash: Hey look at this.

(They look.)

John: What the-? There are satellites that have come into contact with that thing and have just vanished.  
Rarity: How very peculiar.  
Twilight: Wait, let me try and slow it down.

(Twilight does so, and they see the image of the Satellite totaled.)

Doug: Now that makes more sense. They're being totaled so quickly that we can't see it happen.  
Applejack: Now hold on, how can they be destroyed so quickly?  
Doug: That ship is emitting a kind of temporal shield around it. Keeping it out of sync from all other universes but the one Chrysalis is from. I heard her talking to one of the Changelings a few hours before you guys got me out. With the way time's acting right now, days or weeks could pass, and it would only be minutes on that ship.  
John: Which of course means that the ship can't be attacked by conventional weapons.  
Doug: Exactly! Launch a missile at the thing and until it actually penetrates the shield, which it probably can't, from their perspective, it looks like it's taking forever.  
Twilight: Giving Chrysalis plenty of time to calculate its position and blow it away.  
Major Pie: For the moment, there's nothing we can do but wait.  
Pinkie: Poo.  
Major Pie: I'll try to get as much information as I can, but hopefully, this'll all turn out to be nothing.  
Doug: And if it is Chrysalis, it looks like she's finally making her move.  
Chris: Double poo.

(Cut to a few days later as the gang's walking around.)

Twilight: Look out!

(They duck as MechaDoug just misses punching someone's face off.)

Doug: Who the heck are you?!  
MechaDoug: I am the chief of the Changelings. Lady Chrysalis constructed me specifically to take the form of her opponents for psychological warfare and, if needed, infiltration. Now, shall we begin?  
Doug: Yes we shall.

(Doug fires at MechaDoug with the Magic Gun as it knocks him down.)

Doug: That was easy.

(They turn around when MechaDoug stands back up.)

Doug: Oh, you want more, huh?

(Doug blasts MechaDoug again, but it's blocked by a green shield around his body.)

Doug: Well... Crud.  
Twilight: He can adapt to weaponry?! What the heck is he?! A Borg?!

(MechaDoug grabs Doug and holds him by his neck.)

MechaDoug: I grow weary of your flesh, boy.

(MechaDoug tosses Doug into the living room as he groans and stands up.)

MechaDoug: Before you make any foolish attempts, Lady Chrysalis has had me upgraded to adapt to all of your specific weaponry as quickly as possible.  
Doug: Okay, let's try that out. RD?

(Rainbow Dash comes up with a BFG.)

MechaDoug: Huh?  
Rainbow Dash: Fire in the hole!

(Rainbow Dash fires as MechaDoug is knocked back but stands right back up.)

Rainbow Dash: Oh dang.

(Rainbow Dash fires again, but MechaDoug's already adapted to it.)

MechaDoug: I am invincible to your weapons. Everything you have and will use has been filed, cataloged, and adapted to.  
Rob: Oh yeah? How about Anduril to the face?!

(Rob slams the Anduril sword into MechaDoug as it shatters the way Narsil did.)

Rob: ... Heh-heh. Hey, you wouldn't happen to wanna settle this with a card game, would ya?

(MechaDoug tosses Rob away.)

MechaDoug: As you can see, all your weapons are worthless.

(MechaDoug punches Doug down as he pulls out a Lightsaber and stabs MechaDoug with it as he groans, and Doug pulls it out, but the damage repairs itself.)

MechaDoug: Inventive. I'll give you that.

(MechaDoug picks Doug up and repeatedly punches him in the face as he falls over as MechaDoug stands over him.)

MechaDoug: Any last words before I punch a hole through your face, Meatbag?  
Doug: Yeah... SABA!

(The Saba sword appears in Doug's hand, and he blasts MechaDoug back with it.)

Doug: You must really think me and my friends are stupid, metal pants. Your Changeling buddies almost deep fried me and the others when we fought them. Did you really think that we wouldn't prepare ourselves just in case?

(Doug blasts him again.)

Doug: My friends and I spent the last few months since I got back upgrading our arsenal just for the moment when Chrysalis sent down her A-material goons.

(Doug blasts him again, as he adapts.)

MechaDoug: You fool. I will always adapt to your weaponry no matter how much you improve it.

Doug: Maybe, but there is a special project I've been working on. Ready gang?  
Everybody: Ready.  
Doug: Then I think it's time. Specifically... IT'S MORPHING TIME!

(Rob, Doug, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie, Twilight Applejack, and John pull out the Power Morphers as a bright light shines out of them.)

Rob: Tiger Zord!  
Doug: Dragon Zord!  
Rainbow Dash: Mastodon!  
Pinkie: Pterodactyl!  
Twilight: Triceratops!  
Applejack: Sabertooth Tiger!  
John: Tyrannosaurus!

(The seven become the Mighty Morphing Power Rangers.)

Chris: Neat.  
Rarity: You know their outfits actually do go quite fabulously with each other.  
Fluttershy: Oh, I hope this doesn't get messy.

(They all get into a fist fight with MechaDoug, trading blows with each other when they pull out their blasters and blast him back, before he charges again and manages to blast them back. Rob goes for a punch when MechaDoug catches it.)

MechaDoug: Do you really think your new powers can stop me? I am your undoing. I am-!

(Rob uppercuts him and then punches him in the gut.)

Rob: You... Talk... Too... Much... During... A... Fight... Scene!

(Rob knocks MechaDoug back.)

Rob: Alright guys, Power Weapons?  
Doug: Power Weapons!

(They pull out their weapons.)

Rob: Try this one, metal head!

(Rob blasts MechaDoug into the wall with Saba.)

Doug: Or this!

(Doug pulls out the Dragon Dagger and plays it as it knocks MechaDoug into the kitchen.)

John: All right, all, let's show him what team work can do!  
Everybody: Right!

(The five go in separately before getting together.)

John: Time for the Power Blaster!  
Rainbow Dash: Power Ax!  
Pinkie: Power Bow!  
Applejack: Power Daggers!  
Twilight: Power Lance!  
John: Power Sword!

(They bring their weapons together to form the Power Blaster.)

Doug: Fry him, gang!

(They blast as MechaDoug is knocked back into the table, knocking over Doug's magic coin. They then take their helmets off and congratulate each other as the other three rush up and join in. Meanwhile, MechaDoug grabs the coin. They then turn around in time to see MechaDoug stand up with the coin.)

MechaDoug: By the power and force of steel! By the purity of circuit or wire! By the blood of electricity, MAKE ME GROW!

(MechaDoug is teleported out of the room and into the field outside of Canterlot.)

Doug: Don't worry guys. I prepared for this.  
Twilight: How?  
Doug: Look, I always knew that there was a possibility that someone would steal the magic coin, or I wouldn't have it on me when I needed it, so I bought these.

(Doug pulls out the Dino Zord toys.)

John: You're expecting these puny things to go up against that?  
Doug: Nope.  
Twilight: Right.

(Twilight points at the Dino Zords as they appear in front of MechaDoug, life sized.)

Doug: Alright guys, Back to Action!

(They put their helmets back on and go into the Zords.)

John: Let's show this bloke what we're made of, gang! Mega Zord!

(They form the Mega Zord as the Dragon Zord gives them back up.)

Doug: Oh man, I've always wanted to drive this thing!  
Pinkie: And it has a nice stereo.  
Chris: Oh man, that thing looks cool!  
Rarity: Well what are we supposed to do?!  
Fluttershy: I don't know!

(The three exchange blows as MechaDoug tosses the Dragon Zord into the Mega Zord, and they groan.)

John: It's no good! We need more power!  
Doug: Power is on the way! Initiate Mega Dragon Zord!

(The Dragon Zord joins with the Mega Zord as it walks up and blasts MechaDoug's hand off.)

MechaDoug: AH!  
Doug: Now let's finish him! Rob, care to join in?  
Rob: You know it, buddy! Pulling Titanus up for docking sequence.

(Titanus rolls up to the battle field and opens its back as the Mega Dragon Zord enters it.)

Rob: Ultra Zord sequence complete! Now let's fry this guy!  
Doug: You know it!  
Everybody: ULTRA WAVE!

(MechaDoug is destroyed by the Ultra Wave. Cut to the house as Doug puts MechaDoug's surviving hand on the shelf as a souvenir.)

Doug: ... Well... One down.

(As Doug leaves, the finger of the hand twitches ever so slightly. Cut to Chrysalis holding Insano up by the throat.)

Chrysalis: You come at me with promises of superior technology, upgrades for my systems and the android, and what is the result? A wrecked machine, and this universe's champions even more powerful than before!  
Insano (gagging): Well you see... What you don't realize is-

(Chrysalis tosses Insano down.)

Chrysalis: Enough with these foolish games! If I am finally to confront and destroy the Entity, it must be here! I did not wish to make my presence known, but there is no more time. I must deal with the champions myself.

(Cut to Doug's room as he's looking at a picture of himself with his parents and Beth when the lights go out as Doug looks around and when they come back on, Chrysalis is there.)

Doug: Lady Chrysalis, I presume.  
Chrysalis: So, you are one of the champions of this universe.  
Doug: Champions? What're you talking about?  
Chrysalis: It has been my experience that in almost every parallel universe there exists at least one person, one champion that foolishly tries to defend that universe from perceived threats. This world has ten, including you.  
Doug: Me and my friends.  
Chrysalis: So far in my conquest, I have defeated sixteen such champions. When they fall, their universes fall with them.  
Doug: And how do you know that's me and my friends?  
Chrysalis: There are ways of detecting it, such as an indomitable will and refusal to surrender.  
Doug: Then maybe this is the one where you finally get stopped.  
Chrysalis: You are welcomed to try, boy.

(Doug charges as Chrysalis blocks and knocks Doug back without any effort. Doug tries again, but the same thing happens as Doug retreats to the living room.)

Doug: Brian, Brian do you know where the gang is?!  
Brian: They went to Crystalopolis for the day!  
Doug: Oh wonderful timing. Where's my Power Morpher?  
Brian: They're all still being recharged from your last fight.  
Doug: Oh great. No backup, no Morpher, Beth is dead! Any other bits of news?!  
Brian: Who's Beth? ... Forget it. I'll hold Chrysalis off and give you some more time.

(Brian breathes fire at Chrysalis as she just knocks him down.)

Doug: Brian!

(Chrysalis walks up to Doug as Pa comes out with his shot gun.)

Pa: Get away from my grandson!

(Chrysalis turns, grabs Pa's gun, bends it into a knot, and knocks Pa down.)

Doug: PA! I have had enough of this!

(Doug grabs a Lightsaber and makes an attack as Chrysalis kicks him in the gut, sending him flying and dropping the Lightsaber. Doug fires a phaser at her, but Chrysalis just holds the blast back in her hand as the energy cells of the device drain away.)

Chrysalis: Your family's bravery is admirable but misguided.  
Doug: Story of my life.  
Chrysalis: Don't worry. Once this universe is conquered, it will be under my protection. I will not allow the Entity to harm it.  
Doug: Entity?  
Chrysalis: Are you so witless as to believe that I conquer for such worthless things as power and glory? In the universe from which I originated, there was something wrong. It was as if the entire universe itself had a glitch, an aberration, an Entity. It was something that was never meant to be and yet it existed. Feasting and consuming entire worlds. A dark horror whose worshipers claimed was the end of all things. At first, I traveled to other universes to warn them of its approach, but when they failed to listen, I decided to force the issue. I conquered worlds to protect them from it. No one under my gaze need fear the Entity, and I have chased it here. It is trapped on this world, and I will not allow it to escape, and I will not let you or anyone else prevent its destruction!

(Chrysalis knocks Doug down as he gets up and goes to the corner.)

Doug: Okay... I don't like doing this if I don't have to, but you leave me with no choice.

(Doug pulls off his outfit to reveal his Goku costume and transforms into a Super Saiyan. He charges at Chrysalis, who catches his fist and sends him back just as easily as before as he slams over the counter and stands up, rubbing his shoulder. Chrysalis then pulls out some kind of blaster as Doug shields himself with the Captain America Shield as he's still knocked back by the attack. Chrysalis then comes up, knocks the shield away and begins pummeling Doug as he returns to his original state, completely exhausted as she holds Doug by his neck.)

Chrysalis: You are a flea that thinks itself a giant. Brave but futile.

(Doug grabs Chrysalis' blaster from her holster and slams it into her shield as she groans, shoves Doug down and breaks his leg as she grabs the phaser.)

Chrysalis: You dare touch my-?! ...

(Chrysalis looks at her shield as there's a little hole in it, and she quickly teleports out as Doug can only lie there, breathing in hard shuddering gasps as he looks around fearfully.)

The End.


	6. Lady Chrysalis Part 2

**Equestria Teens**

**Season 3**

Episode 6: Lady Chrysalis Part 2

(It opens as Doug's scanning his Morpher with his tricorder, but it's obvious he's just going through the motions of a task he doesn't have his heart in. Cut to outside his room as Twilight is there with John.)

Twilight: I should've been there.  
John: And what would you do that could've made the slightest bit of difference?  
Twilight: I don't know, but at least something.  
John: Look Twilight, I don't think it was just him getting beaten down that's got him so down in the dumps. That day was a time that doesn't exactly encourage good thoughts for him if you know what I'm saying.  
Twilight: I do. I might have an idea for this.  
John: Alright. Call me and the others if you need anything.  
Twilight: Right.

(Twilight goes in as Doug's still scanning.)

Twilight: Hey Doug. What'cha doing?  
Doug: I've been trying to upgrade it, but it was heck making these darn things in the first place.

(Doug tosses them away as they clatter.)

Twilight: I'm sure you'll fix them.  
Doug: What does it matter? ... Twi, she almost killed me. She never flinched. She never hesitated. I don't think anything she did to me required any effort on her part. I threw a phaser on vaporize on her. I threw my DBZ techniques at her! MechaDoug was created and repeatedly upgraded by Chrysalis. We could barely beat MechaDoug. How the heck do you fight something that kills gods?!  
Twilight: Well you still have that one secret she doesn't know about.  
Doug: Yeah, but what good has it done us? I don't know what I'm supposed to do.  
Twilight: If she is after some creature, can't you just team up with her or something?  
Doug: Nah, she said she already tried that through warning people, and that it didn't work. The lady conquers entire universes. What would teaming up with ten high school seniors accomplish?! She just sees us as obstacles to that conquest. Once she has her grip on this place, he can tighten it until she crushes that thing she's hunting, like squeezing an orange until it's pulverized. That's all we are to her. Just runoff.  
Twilight: Doug, I know we'll think of something.

(Twilight kisses Doug's cheek and goes to look through the Spells of Asteroth as Doug just sighs when his eyes widen.)

Doug: Twi, she didn't kill me.  
Twilight: What?  
Doug: Why didn't she kill me?  
Twilight: Again, what?  
Doug: There was nothing I could do. She aimed the weapon, but instead she ran away. Why did she run away? Why didn't she kill me?

(Flash to Chrysalis gasping at the hole Doug made in her armor as he smiles.)

Doug: I know how to beat her. I know how to beat her!

(Cut to a little later as Doug's talking to everyone.)

Doug: John, what's your status on retuning the phasers.  
John: Voila, Doug.  
Doug: Great. That should hold her off long enough. I hope. Chris, what's your status?

(Cut to Chris holding an IMOD from Star Trek: Elite Force.)

Chris: Dude, I will pay you to use this thing!  
Doug: No. You're gonna stay out of the way until you're needed. Then you can use that.  
Chris: Sweet!  
Doug: So were you able to make the modifications?  
Chris: No can do, pal. This thing was already maxed out when it was changed from a toy to a real thing. You'd need like the Elder Wand or something to make it any better.  
Doug: Alright. Then just clean it up, and try not to blast anymore holes in the walls.  
Chris: No promises.

(Cut to Rob practicing with Saba.)

Doug: So pal, you ready for this?  
Rob: Let's find out.  
Doug: Okay.

(Doug goes to a screen with Major Pie on it.)

Doug: Major Pie, I don't suppose we can expect any help from your end, huh?  
Major Pie: Right. The president just called that ship off limits to all army officials until it becomes openly hostile.  
Doug: No problem, sir. It won't.  
Major Pie: But I will try to stop by at the party if I have time.  
Pinkie: Yay!

(Twilight comes out with a nervous Fluttershy.)

Twilight: Don't worry, Fluttershy. Everything is gonna be fine.  
Fluttershy: Um, okay.  
Doug: Alright Twi, relay my instructions to our little secret.  
Rarity: No offense dear, but what will you be doing while we're doing all of this.  
Doug: Getting an invasion force ready.  
Rainbow Dash: Wait. I thought we were the invasion force.  
Doug: No. We're dealing with Chrysalis.  
Rainbow Dash: ... Oh. Okay.

(Cut to Doug on a video chat with Sunset and Trixie as he's scanning MechaDoug's hand.)

Doug: Sunset, this isn't something I can negotiate on. Without the help of you two, this plan has no hope of succeeding.  
Trixie: Well of course you require the assistance of the Great and Powerful Trixie! But how can we be sure your contact will come through when he needs to?  
Doug: He's just as frightened of Chrysalis as the rest of us. Look, if it looks like he hasn't fulfilled his end of the bargain, you two can retreat, but for now, the gang needs your support.  
Sunset: Alright Doug. This is gonna be a risky operation though. Many valiant lives will be lost.  
Trixie: It's only the two of us.  
Sunset: Oh yeah. Never mind that part. But still, if it goes bad, you're gonna regret it.  
Doug: If Chrysalis wins, we'll all regret it. Doug out.

(Doug walks out to everyone else.)

Doug: Brian, report!  
Brian: Well according to your scanners, the energy trace is identical.

Doug: Good. And that's the last thing we needed to know. Brian retreat to Sweet Apple Acres with Pa, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo.  
Roger: Oh you jackass! What about me?!  
Doug: Oh yeah. Roger and Spike too. Sorry.  
Spike: No way. I'm not-

(Twilight knocks Spike out with a Nerve pinch.)

Doug: Didn't know that worked on dogs.  
Twilight: Well according to Shatner it works on horses, so why not? Now are you sure this is gonna work?  
Doug: MechaDoug was able to beam out of the shields, so he had to have some way to contact Chrysalis to let her know he fried us.

(There's a beep from the tricorder.)

Doug: And now so do we.

(Cut to Chrysalis' ship as the Changelings are repairing her suit.)

Chrysalis: I shall rip his head from his neck and display it for this entire world! I shall drench his blood upon the Entity before I slice it down!  
Insano: Okay, but don't you think your emotions are impairing your judgement just a little? Niheeheeha!  
Chrysalis: Do not presume to advise me, Insano! While you work for me, I allow you to fulfill your own goals only when they coincide with mine! Do not dare think you may speak to me in other matters, or I shall-

(There's a beep as Chrysalis looks up.)

Chrysalis: What? The signal from the android? Changeling 1, put it on.  
Doug (statically): This is Doug, calling Lady Chrysalis. If you're receiving this signal, then you might wanna take that stupid helmet off and listen for a minute. Listen, I just wanted to tell you how deeply honored I am. You see, I was once told that you were the stuff of nightmares for gods and monsters alike, and that's why I'm so honored, you see. You've seen fit to show me your true colors. And the main one is a big bright shade of yellow! All that you see, you conquer, huh? Well I guess you never set your eyes on me or my friends then. You were too busy looking the other way and running for your life. And it's a good thing too. You've shown just how inadequate you are. You're not up to the task of facing this... Entity that you're so afraid of. Tell you what, why don't you go tuck your cape between your legs and run home while we deal with it? Unless you just made the Entity up to justify your conquests while you became a multiversal dictator. However, if you want to prove me wrong, you know where to find me.

(Cut back to Doug's place as he sets the hand back down.)

Doug: Well, there you go. Message is away. Now all we need to do is wait.  
Rainbow Dash (sarcastically): Oh waiting. The fun part.

(Everyone looks around, unsure of what to say.)

Doug: You guys ever stop to think that our lives are kinda weird?  
Applejack: Like how?  
Doug: We're about to fight an interdimensional conqueror using weapons from Power Rangers, Star Trek, and Star Wars, and yet we're all just high school seniors. This doesn't seem weird to anyone else?  
Twilight: ... I feel a little weirded out, but not that bad since to be honest, we've done weirder stuff.  
Doug: Well I suppose you're right. Just making conversation. Oh by the way.

(Doug pulls out the seven Power Morphers.)

Doug: I finally upgraded these things.

(Doug hands the gang their Morpher.)

Pinkie: Yay! ... Now what?  
Doug: I don't know.

(After awhile there's a beep.)

Twilight: There's the energy trace.  
Doug: Perfect. Dash, Chris, you know what to do.  
Chris: Booyaka-  
Rob: No! No.  
Chris: Aw.

(Chrysalis appears.)

Chrysalis: I shall rid this universe of-  
Doug: Now! Punch it!

(Chris and Rainbow Dash fire the IMOD as Chrysalis is knocked back as Rainbow Dash charges with a repaired Anduril as Chrysalis manages to block them with her gloves and knocks her back. Doug then charges with Rinden, but Chrysalis kicks him down as well. Chrysalis is then fired upon by a phaser from John, joined by Rarity, Doug, and all the others, but Chrysalis just shoves them back. Twilight goes for her wand.)

Twilight: Stupefy!

(Chrysalis blocks it with her hand.)

Chrysalis: Unimportant whelps.

(Doug his Chrysalis with the Power Pole.)

Doug: Those people stand beside me in protecting our home from people like you. You're in my house, Chrysalis, and you will treat all of my friends with respect!  
Chrysalis: Fine.

(She blasts them all back.)

Chrysalis: Then you may perish together.  
Twilight: Don't you think it's time yet?  
Doug: No. We've got to hold out until the last possible second, or else we won't have anything to fall back on.  
Twilight: Good point.  
Pinkie: Boot!

(They dodge and stand up as Chrysalis grabs Rarity and holds her to a wall.)

Chrysalis: It was not wise of your friends to provoke me.  
Rarity: You know, Chrysalis, I think you need some good vibrations. Wait... Do they have that song in your universe? Oh well.

(Rarity holds a pair of Sonic Screwdrivers to Chrysalis' head as she groans until she drops her.)

John: I didn't know you liked Dr. Who.  
Rarity: Well I may have caught a few episodes once in awhile.

(Chrysalis then grabs John by the wrists and holds him up when a blast hits him.)

Chrysalis: What?!  
Major Pie: Is this a private party, or can anyone join?  
Pinkie: Daddy!  
Chrysalis: Who are you?  
Major Pie: The name's Major Pie, and this one's for the kids.

(Major Pie blasts Chrysalis again with a Star Wars Blaster Riffle. Chrysalis takes the blows and knocks Major Pie down. She then takes the whole gang to a corner as they're relatively weakened from the fight as Shining Armor taps Major Pie's shoulder.)

Shining Armor: Come on, sir. This isn't time for napping. We've got stuff to do.

(Cut back to Chrysalis.)

Chrysalis: Your valor is impressive. After I have cut off your heads, I shall hang them on the bridge of my vessel, so that I can always remember this fight.

(Chrysalis touches her communicator as nothing happens.)

Chrysalis: Changeling 1, report. Why haven't you picked me up? Changeling 1, where are you?!

(The gang opens their eyes.)

Twilight: I think that's our cue.  
Doug: Oh yes.

(They all stand up.)

Chrysalis: What? But I... No... My energy... It's depleting! What have you brats done?!

(Doug pulls out a communicator.)

Doug: Calling Sunset Shimmer! Are you receiving me?

(Sunset and Trixie have totaled the Changelings.)

Sunset: Whoo! This was awesome! Oh, Sunset Shimmer here.  
Doug: What's your status?  
Sunset: Trixie and I have taken the bridge, engineering, and most of the upper levels. Resistance has been strong, but without Chrysalis to direct them, these Changelings just don't live up to the hype.  
Chrysalis: But how?! How could these forces get through the temporal shields?!  
Sunset: Is that Lady Chrysalis? Tell her she's a jerk for me!  
Chrysalis: Who is that?!  
Trixie: The Great and Powerful Trixie, and her trusted ally Sunset Shimmer!  
Sunset: Quiet Trixie, and help with the rest of the Changelings!  
Trixie: Aw.  
Sunset: Just do it.  
Chrysalis: This is impossible! Nothing can get past my vessel's shields! How did this force get through?!

(Dr. Insano walks up laughing.)

Insano: Well... It looks like things are falling apart around you, Lady Chrysalis. AHAHAHAHA!  
Chrysalis: Insano, what are you doing?!  
Insano: What I was sent here to do! I'm sick and tired of running from universe to universe in fear of you! I want to be the conqueror, darn it!

(Changeling 1 charges up.)

Insano: Eat lightening you fancy robot!

(Insano deep fries it with the finger lightning from his power gloves. Cut to the gang.)

Doug: Insano's... Well... Insane. A month after you kidnapped me, just before you sent the Red Executioner at me, he contacted us and came up with the idea of being a spy, getting onto your ship through an offer of working for you. He has lowered the temporal shields around your ship, which was how Major Pie showed up. Insano beamed him from his vessel and then beamed him down to this location before disabling the ship's power systems. You should've kept him on a shorter leash.  
Chrysalis: This... This is intolerable! How could this have happened?!  
Twilight: You did it yourself, Chrysalis.  
John: Coming here yourself was your mistake. Doug had Brian and the rest of us analyze the Changeling debris. None of them had any internal power! It was always being fed from your ship. It had a very distinct energy trace. One that we detected when you came to fight Doug the last time.  
Rarity: Oh sure, maybe in other universe, you are a grand conqueror of conquerors, but here, not so much, I'm afraid.  
Rob: Not all universes are the same. In some universes, you need to act through agents, such as the Red Executioner, because there are some universes that are so different, they would kill you if you stepped into them, and in this universe, you need a constant supply of power in order to stay strong!  
Rainbow Dash: But I'm willing to bet it's even worse than that.  
Doug: Indeed. When I damaged your suit, you had to retreat because you can't survive in this universe without it.  
Twilight: And you're terrified of dying since you believe you're the only one who can stand up to this "Entity" you keep talking about.  
Doug: And when I poked your ego, you left your ship wide open to attack. Your empire is crumbling around you, Lady Chrysalis.  
Fluttershy: Yay!  
Chrysalis: Do you think that was my only source of power?! I am Lady Chrysalis! Everything I see, I conquer! And I will not be defeated by the likes of you!  
Doug: Ready?  
Everyone: Ready! It's morphing time!  
Rob: Tiger Zord!  
Doug: Dragon Zord!  
Rainbow Dash: Mastodon!  
Pinkie: Pterodactyl!  
Twilight: Triceratops!  
Applejack: Sabertooth Tiger!  
John: Tyrannosaurus!

(The seven become the Mighty Morphing Power Rangers again.)

Chris: I love when they do that!  
Fluttershy: Um... Haven't they only done it twice.  
Rarity: Come on you two. We've got to back up.

(They back up as Rarity takes a few of the weapons. The seven charge as they manage to knock Chrysalis back when she holds out her blaster and knocks Doug back.)

Doug: Looks like we need more protection!  
Rob: Right.  
Everyone: WE NEED METALLIC ARMOR, NOW!

(They end up in the suits from Mighty Morphing Power Rangers: The Movie, with Doug in a movie version of the outfit.)

Doug: Try this, Lady of Lame!

(Doug uses the Dragon Dagger to send a wave of lightning at her that sends her flying. Rob then uses Saba to send a wave of energy at Chrysalis that knocks her back as well.)

John: Alright all, Power Weapons!

(They pull out their weapons and blast Chrysalis left and right as she's backed into a corner of the room.)

Doug: Alright everybody, now's our chance!

(Major Pie and Shining Armor come out of hiding with Cadence, Pa, Brian, Roger, Spike, Granny Smith, Big Mac, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo as they all hold some of Doug's arsenal, and the five form the Power Blaster while Doug pulls out the Magic Gun, and Rob pulls out the IMOD.)

Doug: Everybody take aim!  
Chrysalis: This... This cannot be the end!  
Doug: Fire!  
Chrysalis: No!

(Everyone fires as Chrysalis is knocked out.)

Cadence: Whoa, is that lady still alive?  
Granny: Looks that way.  
Big Mac: Eyup.  
Roger: So... We're gonna do it again until she's dead right?  
Major Pie: Would that even do anything?  
Pa: Doug, what do you think?

(Cut to a snowy forest as Doug, demorphed, goes to Chrysalis.)

Doug: Your databanks on other universes were very thorough. This world is one you can survive in without your suit, but if the winter lasts too long, the suit itself has enough power for four-hundred years. There's no technology, no civilization, no sentient life forms within 50,000 light-years. We don't have the power to kill you, and all those universes you enslaved are in no shape to take you since according to Twilight all the Changelings across the multiverse have been shutting down since you were KO'd. As such, we're settling for exile.  
Chrysalis: You have doomed the multiverse to the Entity. Know this, boy, some day you will come crawling for my help again.  
Doug: Oh yeah. This Entity you claim you're after. You know, it's funny. I don't see many good guys running around enslaving people; much less call themselves "lady".  
Chrysalis: You shall regret these actions.  
Doug: Maybe, but not today, thank you.

(Doug is beamed out.)

Doug: Bye-bye.

(Cut to Chrysalis' ship as Doug goes to a viewscreen with everyone at a computer.)

Doug: Everyone, just wanted to say thanks for all your help.  
Major Pie: Anytime.  
Shining Armor: Later guys.  
Cadence: Call us if you need us.

(The gang meets up.)

Twilight: Well we did a basic scan of the ship, but there's still a lot of work to do.  
Doug: That's fine. This is a really nice ship, you know that?  
Fluttershy: Um... Do you really think we should keep this ship? I mean it's pretty powerful.  
Doug: You know, maybe you're right. I mean, is there any one person who can be trusted with this much destructive power? The capabilities of this thing are... incalculable. And can we really be trusted to keep it? You know maybe... Maybe we should destroy it.  
Twilight: Maybe-  
Rob: Are you guys nuts?! It's ours now! We just have to figure out what to name this thing! Ooh! I'm gonna go see if there's a food replicator!

(Rob and the others run out.)

Doug: ... I'm gonna side with Rob.  
Twilight: ... Me too.

(Cut to the next day as Doug and Twilight walk around the ship in Star Trek movie uniforms.)

Doug (VO): Captain's Log: Stardate... Monday. We have our own spaceship now. Once you have a spaceship any other arguments become null and void because I'm the first high school student to be captain of a spaceship... And Twilight because she's better at planning than I am. We're both still struggling with what to call it though. All the good names are taken. Enterprise, Defiant, Millennium Falcon, Ebon Hawk, Mynock, Voyager, Excelsior, Megaship. Anyway, things are settling nicely. Major Pie pulled some strings to let us keep the ship as long as he checks in on us and the ship's status anytime he's in the Kansas area. Dr. Insano, for the moment, has agreed not to take over the world, thanks to being pacified with a junior chemistry play set. That, school, and Sunset should keep him busy for a few months. Twilight's still working in retrieving all the deactivated Changelings under Chrysalis' command, though for the moment there don't appear to be any aboard the ship, though this is a big ship. Ooh... Maybe the good ship, Lollipop? No! That's stupid! I hope owning a ship won't go to our heads. I'd hate to start doing silly things like promoting myself to Admiral for no good reason other than I have an admiral's uniform.  
Pa (statically): Uh... Kids, you do realize school starts in five minutes, right?  
Doug: Oh crud! He's right!

(They beam to the school, everyone still in their uniforms.)

Rainbow Dash: You just had to make it mandatory to wear these uniforms onboard the ship?  
Doug: Oh bite me. I like these uniforms.  
Celestia: Oh those kids are never going to change.  
Luna: Lucky for everyone in town.

The End.


	7. Teen Wars

**Equestria Teens**

**Season 3**

Episode 7: Teen Wars

(It opens as everyone's in Rarity's place. They're talking when the power goes out.)

Rob: Oh great. The power's out.  
Sweetie Belle: What do we do now?  
Doug: Well I could tell you one of my favorite stories.  
Kids: YAY!  
Doug: Okay, this is a story of love and loss, fathers and sons, and the story that changed visual storytelling. This is the story of Star Wars: A New Hope.

A long time ago,  
in a galaxy far, far away...

IT IS A TIME OF FEAR IN THE GALAXY. THE EMPIRE HAS JUST FINISHED CONSTRUCTION OF ITS MOST DANGEROUS WEAPON, THE DEATH STAR.

IN A DARING RAID, REBEL SPIES ARE ABLE TO STEAL PLANS FOR THE DEATH STAR AND BEFORE BEING DESTROYED, SEND IT TO TWILIGHT SPARKLE, THE DAUGHTER OF VICEROY BAIL SPARKLE OF ALDERAAN, AND ALDERAAN'S SENATOR IN THE IMPERIAL SENATE.

AS SHE FLEES TO TATTOOINE, SHE'S FOLLOWED BY THE DARK LORD OF THE SITH, NIGHTMARE MOON...

(Cut to Twilight's ship over Tatooine firing at the Star Destroyer. Eventually the ship is hit in the engines. Cut to inside as C-Rarity is there with Applejack-D2.)

Rarity: Oh, of all the worst things that could happen, this is the worst possible thing!

(She goes to her silver leg.)

Rarity: My right leg clashes with the rest of my body! ... Oh, and I think the forward stabilizers were hit.  
Applejack: Oh, for the love of-

(Several Rebel soldiers stand at the door when it blows, everypony flinches, and the Storm Troopers charge in. Nightmare Moon then walks in and looks around the charred bodies before she walks on. Cut to Rarity looking around for Applejack when she finds her talking to Princess Twilight.)

Twilight: Help me, Celestia Kenobi, you're my only hope. Alright, Applejack, I need you to take that to her. She's down on Tatooine.  
Applejack: You got it, Princess Twilight!

(Applejack walks off.)

Rarity: Hey wait for me!

(They head off. Cut to Nightmare Moon clutches at the neck of a captain.)

Stormtrooper: The Death Star plans are not in the main reactor.  
Nightmare Moon: Where are those transmissions you intercepted? What have you done with those plans?!  
Captain: This is a counselor's ship. We're on a diplomatic-  
Nightmare Moon: Then where's the ambassador?

(Nightmare Moon cracks the captain's neck.)

Nightmare Moon: Commander, tear this ship apart until you've found those plans, and bring me the passengers! I want them alive!

(Cut to Twilight running, looking for her own way out when she's cornered by guards and stunned. Cut to Rarity and Applejack as they escape the ship via Escape Pod. Cut to Nightmare Moon as Twilight is brought up.)

Twilight: Lady Moon. Only you could be as bold as to-  
Nightmare Moon: Don't play any games with me, your highness. You weren't on any mercy missions this time.  
Twilight: I don't know what you're talking about. I'm a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan-  
Nightmare Moon: You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor! Take her away!

(Twilight's dragged off. Cut to down on the surface as Rarity and Applejack are walking away from the pod.)

Rarity: Oh, this is just perfect. I'm getting sand in my joints. I'm almost frozen stiff.  
Applejack: Beg pardon Rarity, but how can we get frozen in a desert?  
Rarity: That's not what I meant! Well let's get going to civilization.

(Rarity walks one way as Applejack walks the other.)

Rarity: Hey wait!

(Rarity goes to Applejack.)

Rarity: And just where are you going? I'm positive that civilization is the other way.  
Applejack: Well I got news for you; we need to go that way!  
Rarity: Well what am I supposed to do?!  
Applejack: You can bite my shiny metal hinny!  
Rarity: Oh, I've never heard such foul language. Fine, go that way. You'll be malfunctioning in a day, and then who'll be sorry.

(They walk off. Cut to Rarity groaning.)

Rarity: Oh, why did I come here? I'm not designed for this terrain! I was designed for eloquent ambassadorial balls and negotiations. Not trudging around this dusty desert!

(She sees something in the distance.)

Rarity: Oh! A transport! I'm saved! Over here! I need help!

(Cut to Applejack walking through a gorge.)

Applejack: Oh my, this don't look friendly.

(She sees something in the shadows.)

Applejack: Hoo-boy. It's okay, Applejack. Calm down. Be cool. I aint done nothing to antagonize nobody. What a girl can't walk down the desert no more?! I got- Who's there?!

(A small creature shorts Applejack out as she falls over. Cut to her being tossed next to Rarity as she recovers.)

Rarity: We will never speak of this again.  
Applejack: ... Alright.

(Cut to the Lars Homestead as Shining Armor arrives with Mr. Orange.)

Mr. Orange: Alright, we'll take the protocol droid and the astromech droid.

(They do so. Cut to the garage as Rarity's lowered into a vat of oil.)

Rarity: Oh, this oil bath is going to feel so good. I've got such a bad case of dust contamination, I can barely move.  
Shining Armor: Hey, there's something stuck in Applejack.

(Shining Armor checks as an image of Twilight appears.)

Twilight: Help me, Celestia Kenobi. You're my only hope. (Static) Help me, Celestia Kenobi. You're my only hope. (Static) Help me, Celestia Kenobi. You're my only hope.  
Shining Armor: Whoever she is, she sounds like she's in trouble. Oh well, better go to do my lightly longing for a greater life while the suns set.

(Shining Armor walks off as he stares at the suns set. Cut to the next morning as Rarity arrives.)

Rarity: Shining Armor, she's gone!  
Shining Armor: Who?  
Rarity: Applejack! She took off in the middle of the night! We've just got to find her!  
Shining Armor: Oh, great.

(They drive off and find Applejack.)

Rarity: Well Applejack, what are you doing here?!  
Applejack: I'm looking for Celestia Kenobi, of course!  
Rarity: Oh please.  
Applejack: Uh beg pardon, Rarity, but I think something's approaching from the South East.

(They look and see several Sand People when one jumps Shining Armor as a shrill call is made, and it runs off as the hooded figure checks on Shining Armor.)

Applejack: Who the hay are you?

(The figure lowers her hood to reveal Celestia.)

Celestia: Hello there. Come here my little friends. Don't be afraid.

(Rarity and Applejack come closer.)

Applejack: What about Shining Armor.  
Celestia: Don't worry. He'll be alright.

(Celestia helps Shining Armor up as he looks at her.)

Shining Armor: Celestia... Celestia Kenobi.  
Celestia: Yes, now let's get inside. The Sand People are easily startled, but they'll soon be back, and in greater numbers.

(Cut to Celestia's hut.)

Shining Armor: So why's a princess know you?  
Celestia: I aided her father in the Clone Wars, the way your mother did.  
Shining Armor: What? No, my mother didn't fight in the wars. She was a spice freighter pilot.  
Celestia: That's what your uncle told you. He was afraid you'd do what she did, leave for adventure.  
Shining Armor: You fought in the Clone Wars?  
Celestia: Yes. I was once a Jedi Knight the same as your mother.  
Shining Armor: I wish I'd known her.  
Celestia: She was the best pilot in the galaxy, and a cunning warrior. I understand you're a fair pilot yourself. Which reminds me. I have something for you. Your mother wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it. He thought you'd follow me on some "Foolish crusade" as your mother did.

(Celestia brings a cylinder of metal to Shining Armor.)

Shining Armor: What is it?  
Celestia: Your mother's Lightsaber. It's the weapon of a Jedi Knight. For over a thousand generations, the Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the Dark Times. Before the Empire.  
Shining Armor: How did my mother die?  
Celestia: A young Jedi named Nightmare Moon, who was a pupil of mine until she turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi Knights. She betrayed and murdered your mother. Nightmare Moon was seduced by the Dark Side of the Force.  
Shining Armor: The Force?  
Celestia: The Force is what gives a Jedi Knight our magical ability. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together in harmony Now Applejack; let's see why you're here.

(The message appears.)

Twilight: General Kenobi, years ago you served my father in the Clone Wars, now he begs for your help again. I've placed the plans for the Empire's newest weapon, the Death Star, inside this droid, Applejack, and sent her to Tatooine for you to give to my father on Alderaan. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Celestia Kenobi. You're my only hope.

(The image shuts off.)

Celestia: Shining Armor, you must learn the ways of the Force, if you are to come with me to Alderaan.  
Shining Armor: Me? I-I can't go. I've got my aunt and uncle's farm! I... Look, I can take you to Anchorhead at least, and then you can get a starship from there.  
Celestia: You must do what you feel is right.

(Cut to the way as they arrive at a damaged Sandcrawler.)

Shining Armor: What the-?  
Celestia: It appears the Empire has been looking for the droids.  
Rarity: Oh dear.  
Shining Armor: But if they find out who the Jawas sold them to, that could lead them back... Home...

(Shining Armor runs off.)

Celestia: Shining Armor, it's too dangerous!

(Shining Armor arrives and sees the burnt skeletons of his aunt and uncle. He goes back to where they were.)

Celestia: There was nothing you could've done if you'd been there, Shining Armor. You'd have been killed too, and the droids would be in the hands of the Empire.  
Shining Armor: I wanna come with you to Alderaan. There's nothing left for me here now. I wanna learn the ways of the Force and be a Jedi like my mother.

(Celestia nods.)

Applejack: Okay, that was dark.

(Cut to them arriving at Mos Eisley.)

Celestia: Mos Eisley Spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We best stay close.

(They drive down as a group of Sand Troopers are there.)

Sand Trooper: You there. How long have you had these droids?  
Shining Armor: About six seasons.  
Celestia: They're up for sale if you want them.  
Rarity: Hey!  
Sand Trooper: I'm going to need to see some identification.  
Celestia (horn glowing): You don't need to see his identification.  
Sand Trooper: I don't need to see his identification.  
Celestia: These aren't the droids you're looking for.  
Sand Trooper: These aren't the droids we're looking for.  
Celestia: He can go about his business.  
Sand Trooper: He can go about his business.  
Celestia: Move long.  
Sand Trooper: Move along. Move along.

(They move along and enter a cantina as they go to the bar as Shining Armor sits down when a walrus head grunts.)

Pig-Nose: He doesn't like you.  
Shining Armor: Uh... Okay...  
Pig-Nose: I don't like you either.  
Shining Armor: You don't even know me!  
Pig-Nose: Well watch yourself. I've got the death sentence on twelve systems.  
Shining Armor: Okay, I'll be careful.  
Pig-Nose: You'll be dead.  
Celestia: This young one is not worth the trouble.

(Celestia stands up as the guy goes for a blaster when Celestia cuts his arm off with her Lightsaber.)

Everypony: Ooh...

(Celestia then takes Shining Armor to a Stratadon.)

Celestia: Robert here is first mate on a ship that might suit us.

(Rob takes them to Doug.)

Doug: Hi there. I'm Doug Solo. Captain of the Millennium Falcon, the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs.  
Applejack: Uh... Aint a parsec a unit of distance, not time?  
Doug: Shut up. Anyway, what can I do for you?  
Celestia: Safe passage to Alderaan for myself, the boy, the droids, and no questions asked.  
Doug: Ooh... You've got a deal! Meet me at dock 606 in half an hour!

(They walk off as Derpy holds a blaster to him.)

Derpy: You going somewhere Doug?!  
Doug: Yes, Derpy. I was about to go tell Jabba that-  
Derpy: Sorry, Jabba said I gotta kill you for dumping the spice. I've been waiting for this for a long time!  
Doug: I bet you have.

(Doug shoots Derpy through the chest and goes to Rob.)

Doug: Okay, if anypony asks, Derpy shot first, I dodged, and then I shot her in retaliation. Okay, Rob?  
Rob: ... Uh... Alright.

(Cut to the Falcon as everyone arrives.)

Doug: Well what do ya think?  
Shining Armor: What a piece of junk!  
Doug: Thank you. My sister helped me get this before she died of cancer. How do you feel now?  
Rarity: ... Does it come with a spa?  
Doug: No, but she'll make 05 past lightspeed. Lightspeed Rescue!  
Rob: No!  
Doug: Aw...

(They take off as a Star Destroyer follows them.)

Doug: Imperial Cruisers on our tail!  
Shining Armor: They're gaining on us!  
Doug: We'll be safe enough once we make the jump to hyperspace! Besides, I know a few maneuvers. We'll lose them.

(The ship lists to the left.)

Shining Armor: ... That was your maneuver. Listing lazily to the left?  
Doug: Uh yeah. We're not in the same place we were. That'll confuse them.  
Shining Armor: Yeah, but you hardly did anything. You just started listing lazily to the left. I'm pretty sure they can keep up.  
Rob: Hyperspace is online.  
Doug: Punch it!

(The ship enters Hyperspace.)

Doug: Man, Hyperspace always looks so trippy. Like we're flying through a screensaver. Anyone ever notice that?

(Cut to the Death Star as Nightmare Moon brings Twilight to Trixie.)

Twilight: Governor Trixie. I recognized your foul stench as soon as I was brought on board.  
Trixie: Well Princess Twilight, the Great and Powerful Trixie has decided to test the Death Star's super laser on your home planet of Alderaan!  
Twilight: No!  
Trixie: She said no. Should the Great and Powerful Trixie still do it?  
Nightmare Moon: ... Yeah.

(Alderaan blows up as Twilight can only weep. Cut to Shining Armor's training while Rarity watches Applejack play chess with Rob.)

Applejack: Check.  
Rob: Oh that is bull plop!  
Rarity: She made a fair move, Robert. Screaming about it won't do any good.  
Doug: Just be careful if Applejack wins.  
Rarity: Why's that?  
Doug: Stratadons are known to rip ponies' arms out of their sockets if they lose.  
Rarity: Ew.  
Applejack: Checkmate.

(Shining Armor continues training as Shining Armor deflects several bolts.)

Celestia: Good, now let go of your conscious self and act on instinct.

(Celestia places a helmet on Shining Armor's head.)

Shining Armor: But with the blast shield down, I can't see anything.  
Celestia: Your eyes can deceive you. Don't trust them.

(Shining Armor does so.)

Celestia: See? You can do it.  
Doug: I call it luck.  
Celestia: In my experience there is no such thing as luck.  
Shining Armor: You don't believe in the Force do you?  
Doug: You mean the thing you just learned about? No. I don't. I've seen some weird stuff, but nothing to make me believe some force controls my destiny.

(There's a beeping sound.)

Doug: Well, we're at Alderaan.

(They come out of Hyperspace into an asteroid field.)

Doug: What the hay?!  
Rob: This doesn't make any sense. The coordinates are right, but there's no Alderaan.  
Doug: Because it got totaled. But how?  
Applejack: Maybe it was that big fancy weapon of the Empire's.  
Doug: Oh come on, nothing can blow up a planet.

(A fighter flies by.)

Doug: Hey, where'd that fighter come from?! There isn't a space station here for light years!  
Shining Armor: Maybe they built one behind that moon.  
Doug: Well let's get that thing before it reports us in!

(They head towards it as Celestia's eyes widen.)

Celestia: That's no moon. It's a space station.

(Doug's eyes widen as he sees more of the Death Star's details.)

Doug: Okay, full reverse.

(They get closer.)

Doug: Rob, I said full reverse!  
Rob: I'm trying, but the thing isn't responding!  
Doug: Oh great, they got us in a tractor beam. Well they're not gonna get me without a fight!  
Celestia: You can't win, but they are alternatives to fighting.

(The Falcon is pulled into the Death Star as Nightmare Moon walks to it.)

Nightmare Moon: Report.  
Captain: Ma'am, the ship matches the description of the same one that blasted out of Mos Eisley.  
Nightmare Moon: Did you find any droids?  
Captain: No ma'am. It appears that the whole crew escaped in escape pods.  
Nightmare Moon: Take a detachment onto that ship. I want every inch of it searched.  
Captain: Yes Lady Moon.

(Nightmare Moon looks on.)

Nightmare Moon: I sense something. A presence I've not felt since...

(Nightmare Moon walks off. As the detachment comes up, there seems to be a struggle as the gang comes down in Storm Trooper outfits aside from the droids and Rob.)

Doug: Okay, just follow my lead, and act real cool.

(They sneak into the control room as Doug blasts a trooper, killing him.)

Doug: Oops.

(They go through the areas.)

Applejack: Alright, the Falcon aint going nowhere until somebody deactivates the tractor beam.  
Celestia: I'll do it.  
Shining Armor: I'll go with you.  
Celestia: No. Your fate lies on a different path than mine. Remember Shining Armor, the Force will be with you, always.

(Celestia walks off just as Applejack finds something.)

Applejack: Yee-ha! I found her! I found Princess Twilight!  
Shining Armor: Ooh, we can go get her!  
Doug: Huh? How are we going to get into the detention area with a Stratadon?!  
Shining Armor: Rarity hand me those binders.  
Rarity: Um... Okay...

(Shining Armor puts them on Rob.)

Rob: Hey!  
Doug: Don't worry, Rob. I think I see where Shining Armor's going with this.  
Shining Armor: Now you two stay here and keep out of sight.  
Applejack: I aint-

(Rarity grabs Applejack and drags her into a closet.)

Rarity: AHH!  
Applejack: What?  
Rarity: I stepped in the mop bucket.

(Cut to Shining Armor, Doug, and Rob arriving at the detention level.)

Guard: Where are you taking this thing?  
Doug: Prisoner transfer.  
Guard: Well, I better call it in to be sure.

(Doug shoots the guard as he tosses Rob his blaster.)

Doug: Okay, let's see... Block 101. You get her. I'll keep them distracted.

(He goes to the console.)

Doug: Everything's okay here. Situation normal.  
Captain: What happened?  
Doug: Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but it's all taken care of now... How are you?  
Captain: What's your serial number?

(Doug blasts the console.)

Doug: Shining Armor, we're gonna have company!  
Rob: Dude, stop blowing stuff up! It only makes things worse!

(Shining Armor goes to Twilight.)

Twilight: Aren't you a little short to be a Stormtrooper?  
Shining Armor: Ha-ha. I'm Shining Armor. I've come to rescue you. I'm here with your droids and Celestia Kenobi.  
Twilight: Great!

(They get out as Doug and Rob are blasting at several Stormtroopers.)

Twilight: Well this is a fine rescue.

(Twilight grabs Shining Armor's phaser and blasts a grate.)

Twilight: This way!

(Twilight jumps in as Shining Armor follows.)

Doug: You next, Rob?  
Rob: No way! It smells really bad in there!  
Doug: Get in there you big lizard! I don't care what you smell!

(Rob jumps in as Doug follows. They end up landing in garbage.)

Doug: Oh, great idea, Princess. Diving into a pile of garbage. Hey when we get out of here, maybe you could show me around Alderaan. Aw... Too soon?  
Twilight: Hey, it could be worse.

(The machinery whirls.)

Doug: It's worse.

(The walls begin closing in.)

Shining Armor (into his comm): Rarity, Applejack, shut down all the Garbage Mashers on the detention level!  
Applejack: I'm on it!

(Applejack uses her omni tool to shut it down as everyone laughs and heads out.)

Rarity: Oh, jolly good!

(Cut to Celestia as she has shut down the tractor beam and is making it back to the Falcon when Nightmare Moon arrives.)

Nightmare Moon: I've been waiting for you, Celestia. We meet again at last.

(They ignite their Lightsabers.)

Nightmare Moon: The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner. Now I am the master.  
Celestia: Only a master of evil, Nightmare.

(They begin exchanging blows.)

Celestia: You can't win, Nightmare. Should my saber find its mark, you shall cease to exist, and I warn you. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

(Cut to the group arriving within reach of the Falcon.)

Twilight: You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought.  
Doug: No payment is worth this.

(They make it down and reunite with the droids when Shining Armor sees the duel.)

Shining Armor: Celestia?

(He goes closer as Celestia observes him, smiles, and holds her saber in surrender as Nightmare Moon strikes her down.)

Shining Armor: NO!  
Doug: Shining Armor, come on!

(They board the Falcon and head off. Cut to Trixie and Nightmare Moon as the ship heads off.)

Trixie: You're sure the homing beacon is on the ship.  
Nightmare Moon: Of course.  
Trixie: Good. The Great and Powerful Trixie is taking an awful risk Lady Moon. This had better work.

(Cut to the orbit of Yavin IV.)

Doug: And we made it.  
Twilight: Doug, they let us go. It's the only explanation. Our only hope is the Death Star plans inside Applejack.  
Doug: Well whatever you do, good luck, but I'm off as soon as I get my payment. I'm in this for me, Princess.  
Twilight: Fine. If money is all you care about, money is what you'll get.

(They arrive at Yavin as Mayor Mare shows them the plans inside Applejack.)

Mayor Mare: Now these plans, provided by Princess Twilight Sparkle, detail the Death Star, now while the surface is nearly impenetrable, a small one pony fighter can get through an intricate and frankly convenient trench system and fire a photon torpedo into an exhaust port. This will set off a chain reaction that will destroy the Death Star.  
Shining Armor: Neat.

(Cut to the Death Star approaching Yavin.)

Stormtrooper: Ma'am, we'll be in firing position in thirty minutes.  
Nightmare Moon: This will be a day long remembered. It has seen the end of Kenobi and soon will see the end of the Rebellion.  
Trixie: Indeed.

(Cut to Doug loading up his bits as Shining Armor arrives.)

Shining Armor: So I guess you're taking your money and leaving, huh?  
Doug: Yup. But before I go, Shining Armor... May the Force be with you.  
Shining Armor: And with you.

(The X-Wings take off and confront the Death Star. They then fly in and begin their run as Nightmare Moon feels the tremble and goes to two pilots.)

Nightmare Moon: You two will accompany me in fighting the Rebels.  
Pilots: Yes Lady Moon.

(They begin attacking and fry several ships as eventually, only Shining Armor is left. Nightmare Moon has a hard time targeting his ship.)

Nightmare Moon: The Force is strong with this one.

(Cut to Shining Armor on his run as he activates his targeting computer.)

Celestia (VO): Use the Force, Shining Armor...

(Shining Armor looks around, confused.)

Celestia (VO): Let go, Shining Armor. Shining Armor, trust me.

(Shining Armor sighs and shuts off his targeting computer. Cut to Nightmare Moon finally locking onto Shining Armor's ship.)

Nightmare Moon: I have you now.

(A mysterious energy blast destroys one of her ships.)

Nightmare Moon: WHAT?!

(Cut to the Falcon flying in.)

Doug: Ya-hoo!

(He fires another blast that sends Nightmare Moon's ship spinning.)

Doug: You're all clear, Shining Armor, now let's blow that thing, so we can get home!

(Shining Armor fires the blast as the Death Star explodes as everypony sighs in relief.)

Celestia: Remember, the Force will be with you... Always.

(They land as the group hugs.)

Shining Armor: I knew you guys would come back!  
Doug: Well I couldn't let you and Applejack hog all the reward money.  
Twilight: Oh, I know there's more to you than money.

(Cut to a celebration ceremony as Twilight is holding three medals, and Rarity and Applejack watch from the sidelines.)

Rarity: Oh, isn't it lovely. I'm so shiny, I look like a Crystal Pony.  
Applejack: Oh brother.

(Twilight gives medals to Doug, Shining Armor, and Rob as they smile and stand ready for more adventure. Cut to reality.)

Doug: The end.  
Everyone: YAY!  
Pinkie: That was great! What happened next?!  
Doug: We'll find out next time.  
Fluttershy: Yay.  
Chris: Yeah!

(Everyone nods.)

The End.


	8. My Mother

**Equestria Teens**

**Season 3**

Episode 8: My Mother

(It opens as everybody arrives at the library as confetti explodes.)

Pinkie: Surprise everybody!

(Twilight and Doug come out, nervously.)

Doug: Hey.  
Twilight: Hey.  
Applejack: Well, what's this about?  
Twilight: Doug and I are dating.  
Everybody: Whoo!  
Chris: This is so great! Two of my buddies are dating each other!

(Pinkie goes to Rainbow Dash.)

Pinkie: Are you okay?  
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. Twilight and Doug make more sense than Doug and me.

(Mrs. Sparkle arrives.)

Doug: Hi Mrs. Sparkle.  
Twilight: Hey Mom, did you hear? Doug's my new boyfriend.  
Mrs. Sparkle: Well, welcome to the family.  
Doug: Wow, thanks.

(Rarity smiles as her mother walks up.)

Mrs. Belle: Hello there.  
Rarity: Oh, Mother! Didn't see you there.  
Mrs. Belle: Just wanted to say hey there and spend some time with my oldest girl.  
Rarity (nervously): Oh, lovely.

(Cut to later as Mrs. Sparkle and Mrs. Belle are talking.)

Twilight: Oh no, they're talking to each other.  
Rarity: Mm.  
Doug: What's wrong with that?  
Mrs. Sparkle: Oh, and then Twilight accidentally turned the family cat into a pickle. It was so adorable.  
Twilight: Oh!  
Mrs. Belle: Oh, and then Rarity made this adorable outfit for Sweetie Belle when she was just a little baby.  
Rarity: Oh!

(The two walk out and groan.)

Twilight: I know it's not that bad but, urgh. Why do they always have to talk about the same things over and over again?!  
Rarity: Not to mention that horrid outfit?!  
Applejack: I think it's sweet.  
Rarity: Oh, you'd be singing a different tune if it was your mother in there.

(Applejack looks for a moment, and then she walks off in a huff.)

Twilight: Well what was that attitude about?  
Doug: Twilight, as someone who knows, it's kinda hard watching someone complain about something they've lost.

(Twilight and Rarity's eyes widen. Cut to Sweet Apple Acres as Applejack looks at a picture of her as a little girl with her parents as Applebloom comes up.)

Applebloom: Hey Applejack, are you okay?  
Applejack: I'll be fine. Thanks for asking.  
Applebloom: Hey Applejack, could you tell me about Ma?  
Applejack: ... Sure, Sis.  
_It's hard to remember  
A summer or winter  
That she hadn't been there for me.  
A friend and companion,  
I could always depend on.  
Our mother, that's who I mean.  
_  
(Cut to Rarity and Twilight as they think about what Doug said and look at their mothers talking.)

Twilight: _I've taken for granted  
The seeds that she planted.  
She's always behind everything.  
_  
(She looks at her acceptance letter into a science camp that she never would have gotten if it wasn't for her mother.)

Twilight: _A teacher, a seeker.  
A both arms outreacher.  
My mother. That's who I mean.  
_  
(Cut to Rarity and Sweetie Belle as Rarity sees several pictures of all of the outfits Rarity's ever made in a scrapbook her mother kept.)

Rarity: _Wish I could slow down the hands of time.  
Keep things the way they are.  
If she said so, I would give her the world.  
_Sweetie Belle: _If we could. We would...  
_  
(Cut back to Sweet Apple Acres as Applejack tucks Applebloom in.)

Applejack: _Our love and our laughter,  
From here ever after,  
Is all that she said that she'd need.  
_Applebloom: _A friend and companion,  
We could always depend on.  
Our mother, that's who you mean...  
_  
(Cut to a split screen of Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack.)

Twilight, Applejack, & Rarity: _My mother, that's who I mean.  
That's who I mean.  
_  
(Cut to the next morning as Twilight knocks on the door of Sweet Apple Acres.)

Applejack: Yeah?  
Twilight: Hey Applejack, I was wondering if you wanted to say hi to my mom.  
Applejack: Well sure. I guess so.

(Cut to the library as they go to Mrs. Sparkle.)

Twilight: Mom, you remember Applejack, right?  
Mrs. Sparkle: Yes I do, and it's great seeing you again, dear.  
Applejack: Thanks ma'am.  
Mrs. Sparkle: So how's your farm?  
Applejack: Doin' fine.

(Doug comes up and smiles at Twilight, who smiles back. Cut to Rarity and Sweetie Belle in the kitchen as their mother arrives.)

Rarity: Hey Mother, Sweetie Belle and I made you something.

(They bring out a gourmet breakfast and set it down in front of Mrs. Belle.)

Mrs. Belle: Oh, you girls.

(They hug happily.)

The End.


	9. Don't Give Up the Ship

**Equestria Teens**

**Season 3**

Episode 9: Don't Give Up the Ship

(It opens at Rarity's place as she's reading with John when Sweetie Belle comes up.)

Sweetie Belle: Rarity, John, it's time!  
Rarity: Oh dear.

(They walk to Main Street. Cut to the others as they're near a Mariner Doug owns.)

Applejack: Now Applebloom, you be nice to Rarity, now.  
Applebloom: Right, Applejack.  
Rainbow Dash: Don't give Rarity, too much trouble, Scootaloo.  
Scootaloo: Right.  
Fluttershy: Um... M-maybe I could stay to and-?  
Twilight: Fluttershy, we need you. We're supposed to find some lost "Valley of the Golden Suns" and see if there's any magic there. If we run into any wild animals, you're our only ace in the hole.  
Fluttershy: B-but what if we run into a dragon?  
Doug: Don't worry. There aren't any dragons outside of the Great Dome... Except for Brian... And Spike... And Roger.

(John, Rarity, and Sweetie Belle arrive.)

Rarity: Hey everyone.  
John: Are you guys sure about this?  
Applejack: Well it has to be you. Big Mac is getting ready for Applebuck Season in a few weeks, and heck, the only reason I'm going is because my cousin from Dodge City is fillin' in for me.  
Doug: Plus Pa and Granny had that small wedding just before graduation, so they're still on their honeymoon.  
Twilight: Shining Armor and Cadence are too busy working in Crystalopolis and taking care of Bethany.  
Pinkie: And I can't do it because I'm going too.  
Rob: Why are we bringing her again?  
Chris: For fun!  
Rarity: Well, alright.  
Twilight: Bye girls. See you when we get back.  
Girls: Bye.

(Cut to Rarity and John's house as the girls look around.)

Applebloom: Hey, what's this?

(They go to a small wooden ship with letters on the side.)

Sweetie Belle: Oh, it's something John won in an auction last week.

(They grab it to take a look at it when John quickly comes and puts it back.)

John: Don't touch that. It's a priceless antique, not a toy.  
Sweetie Belle: Sorry John.

(Cut to later as three figures in domino masks go to the boat as the girls arrive.)

Scootaloo: Hey! Get your mitts off that!

(The three chuckle and go to them as Sweetie Belle ends up teleporting them away as she falls over.)

Sweetie Belle: Ouch.

(John and Rarity come in.)

John: What happened now?!  
Sweetie Belle: There were these guys who tried to steal your ship, John, but I made them go away!  
John: Urgh. I'm in no mood for stories, you three. Just go up to your room or something.  
Applebloom: But it's not a story. It's true.  
Rarity: Look girls, you've had a long day. Just go upstairs and rest.

(The three groan and go upstairs to the guest room. Cut to later as the thieves return and steal the ship again. They sneak out as the girls see him.)

Applebloom: What do we do?  
Scootaloo: I've got an idea.

(Scootaloo grabs her scooter and opens the window all the way.)

Sweetie Belle: Have you ever done this before?  
Scootaloo: Nope.  
Sweetie Belle: Mm...

(Scootaloo jumps out and uses a bed sheet as a parachute to steady the scooter as it lands perfectly on the ground as the three follow the thieves.)

Sweetie Belle: Ya-  
Scootaloo: Shh!

(They follow the thieves to an old Spanish man.)

Thief 1: So what's so special about this ship?  
Spaniard: It leads to a sunken treasure. A ship full of gold, but it's in code. Without me to interpret it for you idiots, it's useless.

(They charge in as Sweetie Belle grabs the ship.)

Sweetie Belle: This belongs to John.

(They run off.)

Applebloom: Let's get outta here!

(They run when the Spaniard holds up a shotguns.)

Spaniard: Give me the ship, chicas, or I'll play castanets with your empty little heads!  
Scootaloo: No!

(Scootaloo pulls out her scooter, and the girls get on as she uses a ramp to leap just above the Spaniard and charge on.)

Applebloom: Where do we go?!  
Scootaloo: I don't know!  
Sweetie Belle: Ooh wait! Rarity was going to take a look at a new caramel factory today to make uniforms! She and John might be there!  
Scootaloo: That sounds good.

(Cut to the factory as Rarity and John look around when the girls arrive just as the goons do, with Applebloom tripping them up with a stray mop.)

Sweetie Belle: John, Rarity, the ship is a treasure map, and the guys in masks over there want it for a guy who talks funny!  
John: It's official. My life is a cartoon.

(They go to the caramel vat and pull a switch to drop some onto the floor, as Applebloom accidentally drops the ship as the floor is covered by a foot of caramel, with the ship on its side as John takes it out, leaving a perfect imprint of the side with the lettering.)

John: I'm sorry I thought you were making that story up, girls.  
Sweetie Belle: No problem. And now we've got a treasure map to go on an adventure!  
Girls: Yay!  
Rarity: Maybe.

(Everyone talks as the Spaniard watches.)

Spaniard: You may have the map, but the gold will belong to El Capitan.

(Cut to Trixie doing tricks on the street.)

Trixie: Step right up everyone and witness the magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie!

(No one gives her a second look. Instead going into the various stores.)

Trixie: Hey!

(El Capitan comes up.)

El Capitan: Miss Trixie, how would you like to have riches beyond your wildest dreams?  
Trixie: The Great and Powerful Trixie does not require such petty things like riches... What have you got?

(Cut to the girls looking at the ship as well as an English-Spanish dictionary.)

Applebloom: Look! There aint no word like Gieon Ondat in Spanish!  
Scootaloo: So?  
Applebloom: So if this name doesn't mean anythin', and yet that Spanish guy could interpret it, it must be some kinda code.  
Sweetie Belle: You mean like how A is 1?  
Applebloom: Right, so the name is actually numbers. So its name is the point where the treasure is. Like latitude and longitude.  
Scootaloo: And with numbers like that, it'd be...

(They check a globe and cheer just as Trixie arrives.)

Trixie: The Great and Powerful Trixie wishes to see the so called "Professor" John Brown.

(John comes out.)

John: What do you want?  
Trixie: Oh, The Great and Powerful Trixie offers a challenge. Trixie has just recently bought the slab of caramel your ship was stuck in, so she has the same map you do. Therefore, the Great and Powerful Trixie proclaims a race. Whoever finds the treasure and brings it back wins, and whoever loses eats Trixie's hat.  
John: Well I hope you're part goat, because we'll find that treasure.  
Trixie: We'll see.

(Trixie goes off as Sweetie Belle goes to Rarity.)

Sweetie Belle: Rarity, Rarity, we found the treasure!  
Rarity: Where?!  
Scootaloo: First, we get to come too!  
Rarity: Absolutely not! I'd never hear the end of it from the others!  
John: Now where is it?  
Sweetie Belle: Please let us come? It's not that dangerous.  
John: No, now-  
Applebloom: We were the ones who found out it was a map.  
John: But-  
Scootaloo: And we were the ones who figured out how the map worked.  
John: Oh, fine! You can come.  
Girls: Yay!  
John: Now where are we going?  
Applebloom: A tiny island just off the coast of South America.  
Rarity: Right. Off we go.

(John teleports them there as they bring the map for visual reference. Cut to Trixie watching them through her binoculars.)

Trixie: Oh drat. They figured the map out.  
El Capitan: Leave them, Senorita. They need the map for reference on what the ship looks like. We do not.  
Trixie: Uh... Why don't we?

(El Capitan doesn't answer as they go on. Cut to the gang finding a cave that looks like the ship turned upside down as it begins to rain.)

Rarity: Oh just in time. I am not in the mood to deal with bad weather. I've been sweating horribly from that dreadful desert.

(They go through the cave as the water begins rising.)

Sweetie Belle: Uh, what's going on?  
John: Oh drat. It must be some kind of monsoon. The whole cave is flooding!

(They rush forward and eventually fall out of an area to land on the very ship they're looking for, filled with golden coins and silk.)

Rarity: We did it, and the ship actually looks in decent conditions, thank goodness. The only problem is that ruined sail and a few holes in the bow.  
Applebloom: Ooh, there's some drift wood, maybe we can use that! And we can use the silk to make a new sail!

(They quickly retrieve the drift wood as Applebloom looks through it.)

Applebloom: Now, we gotta be sure to use top notch wood, like that story about the Three Little Ponies.  
Sweetie Belle: Right!

(They eventually find enough decent wood to repair the bow as the gang helps Rarity in sowing the sail with a golden needle.)

Applebloom: Hey, you guys wanna know what this reminds me of?  
Scootaloo: What?

(Applebloom talks as they finish the sail just as Applebloom finishes.)

Applebloom: And that's the story of the Apple Family Reunion Applejack ran.  
Rarity: And we're done.  
Sweetie Belle: Already? Wow!

(Everyone laughs as they get the ship ready just as the chamber begins flooding.)

John: Get everything ready. This whole ship is about to take off!

(They do so as they look around.)

Sweetie Belle: So that's how the ship got here. It must've beached while the water was receding from that big monsoon!  
Rarity: Exactly, and now we'll use the receding to get out of here.

(They easily make it out into the open sea, setting course for the mainland when Trixie arrives with El Capitan.)

Trixie: Thanks for rebuilding the ship for us. The Great and Powerful Trixie admits, you were only a minute or two behind us, but I believe since we found the ship first, we win.  
John: You don't win until you get this ship back to the mainland, and-  
Trixie: And we can do it fine without you.

(El Capitan is caressing the gold coins.)

El Capitan: My gold! I finally found my gold!

(They put the five in a life boat.)

Trixie: Now in all fairness, Trixie should thank you for constructing her new boat, so... Here.

(Trixie drops five gold coins onto the boat as everyone moodily takes one.)

Trixie: Don't say that Trixie is not only great and powerful, but also fair.  
El Capitan: MY GOLD! YOU THREW AWAY MY GOLD!

(He turns a canon on her.)

El Capitan: Swim over there and toss it back!  
Trixie: Oh, what's your problem? You still have more than enough.  
El Capitan: Get it back!  
Trixie: No.

(Trixie tosses the canon back as they struggle as the canon goes off, causing the ball in it to crash through the ship.)

Trixie: ... Uh-oh.

(The boat sinks as the gang rows back and picks up Trixie.)

Sweetie Belle: Where's the Spanish guy?  
Trixie: Who cares? For all I know he's gone to the bottom with his stupid gold, and good riddance!  
Rarity: Well Trixie, I believe John wins.  
Trixie: How? The ship sank, and the gold went with it!  
John: Not all of it.

(They show Trixie the pieces she gave them as she groans and begins eating her hat.)

Trixie: Yech.

(They head off as El Capitan is shown to have survived on drift wood.)

El Capitan: I'll get you. So help me, I'll get you AND my gold...

To Be Continued...


	10. Friends of the Condor

**Equestria Teens**

**Season 3**

Episode 10: Friends of the Condor

(It opens as Rarity takes the coin Trixie gave her to a coin collector.)

Rarity: Pardon me, sir. I don't wish to trouble you, but I was wondering if you could tell me about this coin here.

(The Collector takes it and gapes.)

Collector: It can't be! It's a coin from the Valley of the Golden Suns!  
Rarity: Oh my, several friends of mine are looking for that very place! What can you tell me?  
Collector: Only that there's a coin deep in the mountains of South America, and the owner is very protective of his coin.  
Rarity: Well good thing that's not what I'm interested in. Thank you very much, sir, and keep the coin. I've got four others from a boatload of them at home.

(Cut to the gang returning to Sweet Apple Acres with Spike.)

Rarity: Alright, here's the message, "Dear friends, we've discovered a clue to the whereabouts of the Valley of the Golden Suns. We will arrive at your location to travel there."  
Spike: Got it.  
Rarity: Now, Granny Smith, Pa Fielder, are you sure you can handle the children?  
Granny Smith: Well, pretty much all we got left to do now is wait for Applejack, so of course we can watch 'em.  
Big Mac: Eyup.  
Pa: And we'll be fine here.  
Sweetie Belle: You're gonna be okay, right Rarity?  
Rarity: Right.  
Applebloom: Good luck you two.  
Scootaloo: Yeah.

(Cut to outside of a plane as Rarity and John appear in front of the others.)

Rarity: Where'd you get the plane?  
Twilight: Oh, an easy transfiguration spell. Nothing too fancy, but it should fly.  
Pinkie: Ooh! Ooh! Let me pilot! Let me!  
Rainbow Dash: Uh... Do you know how to fly, Pinkie?  
Pinkie: Well duh. It's the same as driving a car, but in the sky!  
Rainbow Dash: Okay, but I better be co-pilot to give you some flying tips.  
Applejack: Oh, land sakes. What do you know of flyin'?  
Rainbow Dash: My dad's a pilot.  
Applejack: Oh. Alright.

(They arrive at the sight as the plane begins wobbling.)

Pinkie: What's happening?! The plane isn't going where I want it to go!  
Rainbow Dash: It must be the winds! Get somewhere safe before-

(It smashes into a cliff as they get out, a little battered, but none the worse for wear.)

Doug: That was easy.

(The plane then falls off the cliff and crashes.)

Fluttershy: Oh my.  
Rob: Okay, now how do we get out of here?!  
Twilight: I have no idea.  
Chris: Well business is business.

(They go to the door of the city as the building has the same symbol as John's coin.)

John: We must be on the right track.

(They open it as several Inca-like people are bowing to a conquistador holding up an identical coin to John's.)

Conquistador: Behold my children, as our father, the sun, shines down and blesses his golden coin once more!  
Doug: A little dramatic, isn't he?

(The Conquistador looks up at them.)

Doug: Oops.  
Conquistador: Intruders! Get them!  
John: Wait, please! We're just here to-

(John's coin drops out of his pocket as the natives stare and bow to him next as John picks his coin out.)

John: Well I'll be jiggered. These fellows think I'm a high priest too.  
Conquistador: Why are you stopping?!

(He goes up as John shows the coin.)

Conquistador: No, it can't be! Another coin!

(He goes to John as the villagers block him.)

Villager 1: He has a gold sun too, so therefore he's one of us.  
Conquistador: But he's a stranger.

(John pockets the coin, goes to the stranger, and pulls it out from behind his ear.)

John: I make friends, easily, good sir.  
Conquistador: Very well, "fellow sun priest". I am Joaquin Phelincks, your honored host.  
John: Nice to meet you Phelincks. Now, how about telling me where you got that coin?  
Phelincks: Very well, senior. Come with me.  
Twilight: While we're gone, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie, get the ship and fix it if you can.  
Applejack: We're on it.

(Cut to Phelincks' quarters as he shows them of a bust of a man similar to him.)

Phelincks: My family has lived here for four hundred years. It all began when my ancestor and his partner retrieved a boatload of treasure from the Valley of the Golden Suns, however, once loading was finished, they were betrayed by the ship's captain as he sailed off alone with the treasure. My ancestor and his partner made a map and tore it to two before they went their separate ways. The partner made a raft and sailed the ocean currents to the remote north. He was never seen again. My ancestor on the other hand stumbled upon these Incan cliff dwellers that worshiped the sun, becoming a high priest thanks to the coin he had on him, the very coin I hold now.  
John: So you still have the map to the treasure?  
Phelincks: Yes and no. My ancestor's map only showed where to go once you were already in the valley. The half that shows how to get there was lost with his partner.  
Chris: So, can we have it?  
Phelincks: No! It has been in my family for-  
John: Too long. You'll never use it, but we will. On the other hand, I'm willing to give you my coin, making you twice as powerful as you are now.  
Phelincks: I have a counter-proposal. You are attempting to fix your air ship. If you manage to do so on your own, you may have the map and keep your coin, it only has monetary value to you while this coin means power for me. If you have to ask for aid in repairs, then you must give me the coin.  
Doug: That sounds fair.

(Cut to the cliff as the group manages to use a pulley system to bring up the plane, heavily damaged.)

Applejack: Ooh. I don't reckon this thing will fly again.  
Pinkie: Ooh, I have an idea!

(Cut to the next morning as the plane's been redesigned, with a propeller on the top, and a bicycle system in the middle.)

Twilight: What the-? What did you do?  
Pinkie: Well there was no way to fix the plane, so we just rebuilt it like a bicycle! Rainbow Dash and Applejack can steer while I pedal!  
John: Well I'll be. Alright Phelincks, our ship's shipshape.  
Phelincks: Impressive. I don't know how you did it, but I am a man of my word.

(Phelincks gives John his half of the map as they take off.)

Chris: So... Now what?  
John: Now we head north to get the other half of the map. You three go to our house to get more supplies while we use a raft to follow the currents like Phelincks' ancestor's partner.  
Fluttershy: Um... But I don't think a raft would be big enough.  
Twilight: This one will.

(They launch out of the hangar and skid on a huge raft, managing to hold on.)

Rainbow Dash: You think they'll make it, and more important, will we be able to find them?  
Pinkie: Well duh! Of course we'll find them!  
Applejack: I hope you're right, Pinkie. I hope you're right.

To Be Continued...


	11. Cold Friends

**Equestria Teens**

**Season 3**

Episode 11: Cold Friends

(It opens as the girls are in Sweet Apple Acres as they look out the window.)

Granny: Don't worry girls. They'll be back lickity split. Aint that right, Big Mac?  
Big Mac: Eyup.  
Applebloom: Yeah!

(Suddenly, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie arrive in the rebuilt ship as they rush in and out of the house.)

Applebloom: Applejack! Hey, Applejack!  
Applejack: Not right now, Applebloom. We gotta get this thing loaded with supplies and head off ASAP. The others went north after half of some map to the Valley we've been looking for, and we gotta find them pronto.  
Applebloom: Can we come?  
Applejack: Of course you can't! Y'all could get yourselves hurt, and we don't even know where we're goin'!  
Scootaloo: You're gonna need eyes to see where the others are.  
Rainbow Dash: No way. It's too dangerous.  
Sweetie Belle: We have been waiting a week for our friends and family, and we're coming!  
Pinkie: No.

(They eventually load everything as Big Mac gets on board as well to help with peddling when the girls sneak in as Granny and Pa follows just as they take off, and they hear something.)

Applejack: Rainbow Dash, take the wheel.

(She goes in to find the four there.)

Applejack: Now what in tarnation are you girls doing here?! We said no!  
Sweetie Belle (tearing up): But it's my sister out there and... And...  
Applejack: ... Alright, but you three stay close to Granny and Pa. Good thing we loaded up on jackets. For all we know, we'll be in the North Pole.  
Big Mac: Eyup.

(Cut to the North Pole, specifically, an area the current would have pushed the raft everyone was on.)

Applejack: Alright everyone, keep your eyes peeled. It should be easy to spot 'em around here.

(They look around as Pinkie sees something.)

Pinkie: Hey look, something brown is coming, and they're carrying something yellow.  
Granny: Sweet lord, it's a walrus!

(The walrus comes up with the raft the others were using.)

Rainbow Dash: Move!

(They dodge the walrus as it slams into a rock, knocking him out, and they look at the raft.)

Applejack: Well I'll be. This was the raft they went off on. They must of tied it to this here walrus to move, so all we've gotta do is follow the trail that raft made.

(They follow it to a chasm with a great icy stair down into it.)

Rainbow Dash: Looks like it's down we go.

(They head down until they find a penguin that's limping.)

Sweetie Belle: Oh, the poor thing.

(Sweetie Belle goes to the first aid and wraps up the penguin's flipper.)

Sweetie Belle: There. Now try to walk on it.

(The penguin walks around as she smiles.)

Sweetie Belle: There. That's much better.  
Pa: Poor little thing.  
Applebloom: Hey wait a second, maybe these penguins can talk like those creatures that Asteroth experimented on.

(Applebloom walks up to the penguin.)

Applebloom: Can you tell us where our friends are?  
Penguin: I would be glad to.  
Applejack: Well I'll be dipped. How'd y'all learn to talk?  
Penguin: Our history teachers say that we're descended from penguins Asteroth captured, and we were saved by a unicorn.  
Rainbow Dash: Awesome. So you guys stay here while we get to the others.

(They head off.)

Penguin: Oh dear, they really should not have done that.  
Sweetie Belle: Why?  
Penguin: Color's so rare here, that even the color on one's clothes is valuable. Your friends will be in big trouble, especially if they say they know the people that just showed up.  
Applebloom: Why?

(Cut to the four arriving at a huge city of igloos.)

Applejack: Wow. Not too shabby, eh Big Mac?  
Big Mac: Nope.

(The penguins arrive and stare at them.)

Pinkie: Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! We're looking for our friends! John, Rarity, Twilight, Doug, Rob, Chris, and Fluttershy! Do you know where they are?  
Mayor Penguin: You know them?  
Pinkie: Well duh. We're best friends.

(They jump on the four, and they end up tossed into a prison cell in pure black and white outfits before being tossed into a cell that they close by making ice bars out of water.)

Pinkie: Well that was rude.  
Rarity: Pinkie Pie? Is that you?  
Rainbow Dash: Rarity? Is that you?  
Rarity: Yes, we're all here.  
Applejack: Well what happened?  
John: We found the missing half of the treasure map to the Valley of the Golden Suns, but they wouldn't take my gold coin, and we ended up arrested for bribery and thrown in here. Then those black and white hoodlums took our half to add to their collection.  
Applejack: Don't worry, Granny Smith Pa Fielder and the girls are still out there.  
Twilight: Okay, then there's still a chance!  
Big Mac: Eyup.

(Cut back to the others.)

Granny: Alright girls, let's figure out where they are.  
Pa: Look up there.

(They notice the prison and go there real quick.)

Sweetie Belle: Rarity?

(Rarity comes up.)

Rarity: Sweetie Belle? What on Earth are you doing here?  
Sweetie Belle: We're gonna bust you out! ... Somehow.  
Pa: Since this thing's made of ice, we may be able to literally break them out.  
Scootaloo: Sweet!  
John: Wait, the map's in a museum.  
Applebloom: We can get it! Come on, Sweetie Belle!

(The two head off. Cut to Granny as she manages to get their regular clothes and tosses them into the cells.)

Rarity: Well we can't undress here.

(The clothes are magically switched around by Twilight.)

Twilight: ... And we're done here.

(She teleports all of them out.)

Twilight: There. Now we just need to get the map.  
Applejack: You mean you coulda done that at any time?!  
Twilight: Not when we had nowhere to go, and were in prisoner uniforms.  
Applejack: Alright.  
Fluttershy: You rock. Whoo-hoo.  
Doug: Now let's get out of here.  
Chris: Right.  
Rob: Definitely.

(They head off as they find the girls holding the map.)

Rarity: What the-? How'd you manage to put it back together?  
Sweetie Belle: We didn't. It was encased in ice, so I drew a copy with my crayons.  
John: Well I'll be.  
Sweetie Belle: Thanks for the help... Here.

(Sweetie Belle hands the penguin her crayons as they wave and teleport back to the ship.)

Twilight: Phew. Now let's get going before something else happens.

(They head in and fly off.)

John: Set coordinates everyone.  
Pinkie: For where, John?  
John: For the Valley of the Golden Suns.

To Be Continued...


	12. Too Much of a Gold Thing

**Equestria Teens**

**Season 3**

Episode 12: Too Much of a Gold Thing

(It opens as El Capitan is on a small boat in the valley.)

El Capitan: My gold! I must have my gold! Those fools must have found out where the Valley is by now, and when they arrive-

(He sees a plane coming and gets into hiding. Cut to the others as they arrive.)

Applebloom: Well looks like we finally found the Valley.  
John: We better have! After all the trouble I've gone through, I deserve that treasure!  
Rarity: You mean, "We deserve that treasure", right dear?  
John: Yeah, yeah.  
Doug: So Twilight, any magic going off yet?  
Twilight: Not really.  
Doug: Alright, well at the very least, we can talk about those Asteroth Penguins.  
Pa: Of course, son.

(The plane lands near the river as everyone stretches.)

Doug: Okay, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie, and Applejack will stay here and keep the plane safe. If we get in trouble we'll send sparks up, so you know where to find us.  
Rainbow Dash: Right.

(They look around.)

Applebloom: Hey look, a road!

(They follow it.)

Doug: Wait, if this valley's supposed to be a secret, why build a road to it?  
Fluttershy: Unless it's...  
Everyone: A TRAP!

(Just then, John pushes a button that causes a tree to swing past as Rarity knocks John down.)

John: Thanks.

(They continue up the stairs until they find the Valley, a huge temple surrounded by five enormous gold coins.)

Everyone: Ooh...

(They teleport down as they get inside, and find that the whole building's made of gold and find four chambers. Three are blocked by doors, and another leads to a well with writing on it.)

Doug: Anyone speak ancient lost city?

(Everyone shakes their heads.)

John: Well come along, you lot. Doesn't anyone want to see what's behind those doors?  
Rarity: ... Yes!

(The two speed off as they look at the writing as Twilight uses her magic to turn it English. Cut to the two opening a door full of golden yarn like on the ship.)

Rarity: I could make an entire wardrobe of gold, for the entire town!

(Cut back to the others.)

Twilight: "If you are too greedy..."

(They open another door to reveal gold coins as they grab loads of them.)

Twilight: "... And open all three doors..."  
Everyone: It's another trap!

(Rarity and John go to open the last door when they rush forward.)

Chris: Wait! Don't open that door!

(They do so.)

Fluttershy: Oh... My...

(Suddenly, all the doors close.)

Rob: Come on, guys! We've gotta get out of here!  
El Capitan: None of you will be going anywhere!

(El Capitan arrives with a shot gun.)

Sweetie Belle: It's that old Spanish guy who took John's boat!  
Applebloom: And who caused that big old treasure ship to sink!  
Granny: Well, this got complicated.  
Pa: Look, can't we talk about this?  
El Capitan: No, senior. Now move!

(He forces them into the wooden crate near the well.)

El Capitan: I've waited four hundred years for this!  
Granny: Four hundred years?!  
Scootaloo: But how'd you stay alive for all this time?  
El Capitan: Sheer willpower, chicas!

(They look down the descending crate as they see the source of an unbearable heat.)

Doug: A lake of molten gold...  
Twilight: And we're all about to be boiled in it!  
Big Mac: Eyup.  
John: This is the real treasure of the Golden Suns! There's more gold down here than in the whole world!  
El Capitan: No! It's my gold!

(El Capitan reels them back up and forces them out.)

El Capitan: I won't have you taste a single drop of my gold!  
John: Your gold?!

(Everyone but the two arguers notice an odd rumbling.)

John: My friends and I found the missing maps! We tracked this valley down! This gold is ours!  
El Capitan: No senior.

(He holds the gun to John.)

El Capitan: This says the gold is mine.

(They begin fighting as the well caves in and the floor begins collapsing.)

Rarity: Will you stop this?! The floor is collapsing!

(They look on.)

John: Uh-oh. Truce?  
El Capitan: Truce.

(They rush to the wall as everyone else has already made it.)

Rarity: Hurry John!

(They jump for it as the gang holds onto them and pulls them back up as they go right back to fighting.)

Granny: Now will you stop this, John! You young whipper snapper!

(Big Mac pulls the two apart.)

John: Let me go! Can't you see the greatest treasure in the world's at stake?!  
Rarity: What's more important John? Being rich, or alive?!  
John: Rich or- Good gracious, you're right! Look!

(They see that the building has no roof, so they can climb out. They continue on, tying El Capitan up and bringing him with them as they notice something. The hole is getting twice as big as it should.)

Chris: What's going on?!  
John: The temple's melting!  
Chris: Oh poo.  
Doug: Come on everyone! We've gotta send those sparks!

(They do so. Cut to the others as they see it and head over on the plane. Cut to the temple as the plane arrives.)

John: Time to go, amigo.  
El Capitan: Never! I'll never leave my gold again!

(They force him on and load up as Pinkie peddles like mad as they head up just as a blast of molten gold hits them, sending them into a tailspin.)

Applejack: I can't control this thing!

(They manage to land as everyone sighs as El Capitan rushes out.)

John: Wait, stop him!

(El Capitan looks out and his smile drops to a look of horror.)

El Capitan: No!  
John: What the-? (Laughing) Well I'll be! The gold is buried under a mountain of dirt!  
El Capitan: You fool. I will dig up the gold if it's the last thing I do!

(They walk off.)

Sweetie Belle: But won't he dig it all up?  
John: Maybe, in another four hundred years.

(They walk back down.)

John: Still, I wish we could have taken something back from that valley.

(Everyone stares at the plane.)

John: What?

(They see that the plane's been coated in gold.)

John: Oh my lord!

(Cut to them flying off.)

Rainbow Dash: No wonder this thing flew so heavy. It was dipped in gold like an ice cream cone.  
John: And it's all ours.  
Doug: And all's well that ends well.

(The girls smile as everyone talks, riding off into the sunset.)

The End.


End file.
